I finally filed for divorce from my abusive wife recently. I believe she might be a clinical psychopath at this point. She picked a fight with me on my 40th birthday the other day and this ruined the time I had with my daughter. She did things like this constantly.

I just feel like she has finally completely broken me as a person…I now am unsure if I can get better. I will stay alive for my daughter’s sake, but some days I really don’t want to be.

I have no real resources. I have no money. Most therapists I’ve seen have been terrible. Most people I talk to don’t seem to believe me that I’ve been abused. I just cannot take this anymore.

I finally got on a couple dating apps to see if that made me feel better and it had totally the opposite. It set off a very bad downward spiral.

I feel like I have a lot to offer. I’m funny, kind, smart, a talented musician/artist, I think I’m handdome even (can’t post a pic obviously), but no one seems to care. It’s like when I put my confidence to practice I get rejected and reminded why I shouldn’t have any.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get better.

  • pastalicious [he/him, undecided]@hexbear.netEnglish
    13·
    8 months ago

    No real experience but from what I keep hearing, dating apps are hell holes that commodify your identity in a really ugly way. First you have to think of yourself as a product for sale and market yourself as such, then, thanks to the way discovery and interaction works you’ll will be made to feel inadequate as part of their process to convince you to pay for “advantages”.

    If you can, find dating events happening in the real world where you see people face to face. Singles nights, speed dating, whatever else there is… it’s going to be less humiliating than apps that are designed to prey upon insecurity.

    Also hobbies and causes are a great way to meet people and remind yourself there’s possibility and purpose to seize upon outside of your current personal microcosm.

    • sir_this_is_a_wendys [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      6·
      8 months ago

      That is a great idea. I feel like I could probably be I a lot more impressive in person. Unfortunately the dating app kind of zapped my confidence for a bit but I’ll try to get back out there soon.