I have gas from eating lots of bread, which is not unusual, but for some reason today’s farts hurt my ass.

They’re not those super hot farts, they’re just really… pressurized? They come out loud and proud and it feels kinda violent. Any ideas?

    • thorbot@lemmy.world
      5·
      7 months ago

      Bro modern r/askreddit is the wish version. You been there lately? It’s just AI bot spam asking the same dumbass questions that have gotten the most engagement in the past. All of Reddit has devolved to bullshit low effort questions by bots. Like almost every subreddit is just “what’s the XYZ about this ABC related to this sub?!?” It’s fucking awful there now

      • treadful@lemmy.zipEnglish
        4·
        7 months ago

        “What’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed?”

        “What’s the spookiest thing you’ve ever seen in Utah?”

      • RGB3x3@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        7 months ago

        Even for years, r/askreddit was drowned in annoying sexual questions like “what would you do if you became the opposite sex” or “what should men/women know about women/men”

        It got so repetitive.

        • thorbot@lemmy.world
          1·
          7 months ago

          It’s that, but on every sub. It’s pretty insane. And then tons of comments that are THE EXACT SAME COMMENTS I always see for that question. It’s literally just bots talking to bots

  • thorbot@lemmy.world
    3·
    7 months ago

    You should probably not eat so much bread. You may have a gluten intolerance. See if you can blow up a balloon with the next one.

  • morphballganon@lemmy.world
    3·
    7 months ago

    1. Take a long hot shower and wash the area well

    2. Try to cut down on dairy for the near future

    3. Lie down in the sexy open-shirt Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park pose when a fart is approaching

  • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    7 months ago

    Happens to me when I eat nothing but beef jerky like I did yesterday. Just woke up like ten minutes ago with a fat man locked and loaded, had to lift my leg to make sure the ordnance cleared the fuselage.

    Maybe it’s digested fat? Idk I’m no nutritionist

  • HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    2·
    7 months ago

    I do believe it’s a bread problem. Now you can either fix that, or you can start loosening your asshole.

    Sounds like a joke, but I fart a lot and they’ve become way more quiet after I’ve started using dildos. I’m gay, but you don’t have to be to enjoy anal.

  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
    2·
    7 months ago

    have gas from eating lots of bread, which is not unusual,

    Yeah it is. Unless you know you have a specific medical condition?

  • NoneYa@lemm.ee
    1·
    7 months ago

    Muscles being worked too much? Kind of like how your arm aches after writing for a long period of time, could that be the same type of pain?

    Or could it be the gases/acid are burning? There are times after I have loose stools that the liquids seem to cause a burning sensation after a while. Is that a similar pain?

  • nyahlathotep@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    1·
    7 months ago

    If you had a stomach ache and had a poo with stomach acid in it (eg diarrhea), the acid can irritate your ring and make farts hurt.

    • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
      1·
      7 months ago

      This sounds made up but I want to believe it and will do no further research into the matter. Mystery solved.

  • Jay@lemmy.caEnglish
    1·
    7 months ago

    Your asshole is slamming shut like a screen door in a windstorm?

  • sgibson5150@slrpnk.net
    0·
    7 months ago

    My sympathies. Earlier this week I made dinner with an Impossible Meat brick that was a single day past the labelled expiration. I had some unexpected GI issues that I’ve attributed to that and I really felt terrible after, like I’d strained my pooper or something. Been farting like a cow ever since. I keep apologizing to my wife. Fuck knows why or how she puts up with me.