0 Avoid having to do this. Make someone else do these things if at all possible. Have a “Mikey”.
1 Separate the plant into its various parts—roots, stems, leaves, buds, and flowers. Focus on only one piece of the plant at a time.
2 Smell it. A strong, unpleasant odor is a bad sign, as is a musty or rotting odor. Keep a special lookout for pear- or almond-like scents, which can be evidence of cyanide.
3 Test for contact poisoning by placing a piece of the plant on your inner elbow or wrist for 8 hours. If your skin burns, itches, feels numb, or breaks out in a rash, wash off your skin and don’t eat the plant.
4 If the plant passes the skin test, prepare a small portion the way you plan to eat it (boiling is always a good bet).
5 Before taking a bite, touch the plant to your lips to test for burning or itching. If there’s no reaction after 15 minutes, take a small bite, chew it, and hold it in your mouth for 15 minutes. If the plant tastes very bitter or soapy, spit it out and wash out your mouth.
6 If there’s no reaction in your mouth, swallow the bite and wait 8 hours. If there’s no ill effect, you can assume this part of the plant is edible. Repeat the test for other parts of the plant; some plants have both edible and inedible parts. Starting to feel sick? Time to bring it up.
Note: According to my MDs, allergies take two exposures for your body to freak the fuck out. So if you’re allergic to peanuts, the first time your body won’t react. The first time is your body developing antibodies or whatever the fuck it does to have allergic reactions. The second time? That’s when you swell up like Violet Beauregarde or whatever your body does. So there’s that going on too.
Keep a special lookout for pear- or almond-like scents, which can be evidence of cyanide.
Maybe get a few other people to smell it, for this one, bonus points if they’re entirely unrelated to you. Not everyone can smell it, and there may be a genetic component to it.
In case you ever need to know:
0 Avoid having to do this. Make someone else do these things if at all possible. Have a “Mikey”.
1 Separate the plant into its various parts—roots, stems, leaves, buds, and flowers. Focus on only one piece of the plant at a time.
2 Smell it. A strong, unpleasant odor is a bad sign, as is a musty or rotting odor. Keep a special lookout for pear- or almond-like scents, which can be evidence of cyanide.
3 Test for contact poisoning by placing a piece of the plant on your inner elbow or wrist for 8 hours. If your skin burns, itches, feels numb, or breaks out in a rash, wash off your skin and don’t eat the plant.
4 If the plant passes the skin test, prepare a small portion the way you plan to eat it (boiling is always a good bet).
5 Before taking a bite, touch the plant to your lips to test for burning or itching. If there’s no reaction after 15 minutes, take a small bite, chew it, and hold it in your mouth for 15 minutes. If the plant tastes very bitter or soapy, spit it out and wash out your mouth.
6 If there’s no reaction in your mouth, swallow the bite and wait 8 hours. If there’s no ill effect, you can assume this part of the plant is edible. Repeat the test for other parts of the plant; some plants have both edible and inedible parts. Starting to feel sick? Time to bring it up.
Note: According to my MDs, allergies take two exposures for your body to freak the fuck out. So if you’re allergic to peanuts, the first time your body won’t react. The first time is your body developing antibodies or whatever the fuck it does to have allergic reactions. The second time? That’s when you swell up like Violet Beauregarde or whatever your body does. So there’s that going on too.
edit: it did’nt line break like i wanted
brb, eating soap
brb, going to go lick some frogs
Maybe get a few other people to smell it, for this one, bonus points if they’re entirely unrelated to you. Not everyone can smell it, and there may be a genetic component to it.
This killed me.
Hi Mikey
Now tell me about nettle soup
you should probably add liquid to the nettles. I’ve never had it. I wouldn’t bite the pointy bits.