I’ve actually been wondering about this for a while. Realised this is a really good place to ask!

So when you’re dating someone in Malaysia. How often do you like to check in with your partner? How much is too much or too little?

I’m a pretty independent nyet so once every couple days feels about right for me. And maybe share some funny link if it pops up. Any more and I start feeling this slightly smothering obligation hanging in the air. But I’ve heard a pretty wide range on what people think is normal / makes them insecure. Like some couples wish each other good morning and good night every single day kinda thing. (But also some couples wear 100% matching outfits when they go out. Pls just let me die instead)

  • imaginelizard@monyet.cc
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    1 year ago

    Depends on what the couple is comfortable with, no? It’s not a consistent thing I think, there are times when once every few days are good enough, and sometimes it could be every day. The key I think is communication and the couple’s expectations in the relationship. If we’re on the same page, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. My gf and I wish each other good morning and good night every day, it’s a simple loving gesture that we show each other. And it takes no more than 1 minute anyway, surely our s/o is important enough to spare a minute a day. Anything that happens in between is flexible. We still have our own obligations to attend to, and not everyone feels like talking all the time, as long as we communicate beforehand, that’s fine already.

    • dcx@monyet.ccOP
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      1 year ago

      Oh no, am I the weirdo!?? (Yeah I know I’m a weirdo :')

      I don’t think it’s wrong to be in regular contact btw. And I guess I have other ways to express care, like I don’t mind spending solid chunks of time on relationship-related projects. But I’m the kind of person who has a hard time sticking to stable routines, so having this always-on obligation to send messages/ be responsive to messages feels super heavy to me.

      Please don’t let me be the only one! Haha.