Of course, I’d do all the obvious things, such as getting a bigger house, a newer car, and quitting work, but beyond that, I have no interest in an extravagant lifestyle—or at least that’s what I tell myself.
By a bigger house, I mean one typical of upper-middle-class living. I’ve watched plenty of videos of people touring million-dollar mansions, and they all look too big, open, and sterile to me. I’ve seen cozier tiny homes than those. And by a newer car, I mean a 2017 model or so instead of the 2007 one I drive now.
Really, give me a nice cottage by the lake with some land and a big garage for all my tools and toys, and I’m all set. I much prefer the idea of “hidden wealth” over showing it off. I’m just kind of worried that I wouldn’t be able to live up to my own expectations if push comes to shove, and there’s really no way of testing that. Am I just kidding myself here?
I feel the same way about fame. Many people aspire to become successful YouTubers or such, but the idea of people recognizing me on the street sounds awful.
The “why not” is that some people actually are harmed not helped by being handed stuff. I tried to help one of my friends who lived with me rent free for a year and by the end he was completely unmotivated to actually get or keep a job, contribute around the house, or even behave pleasantly towards anyone in the house. It happened gradually over time til living with him became intolerable.
Then you have a hard conversation.
I’ve been that person. I lived with my grandparents for a year. Rent free, nearly no job. My aunt and uncle sat me down and explained that they appreciated my work helping to care for my grandparents, but if I stayed with them I would only be qualified for a career as a home health aid.
I talked to my extended family and moved out. Other arrangements were made for my grandparents. I found a job and started a new career. It’s certainly possible to enable bad behavior, but it’s also possible to help someone that needs it.
Good on you for being receptive to their conversation and actually making improvements and changes. Not everyone behaves that way, some people like my friend just become dependent on the help instead. It’s important to recognize that external help isn’t always the solution; that shouldn’t stop us from trying to help initially but it’s important to withdraw it if it’s causing dependency.