When I finished my national service I spent the night getting drunk with some guys I’d served with. One of them took me to sleep at his family home when it got late and there were no more trains for me to get home. The next morning I joined the family for breakfast. I was amazed at how gentle and civilised they talked to each other. At my home i was only used to everybody being at each others’ throats all the time. To this day i can’t help thinking about what I missed.