I wanted to share a blog post about my transage experiences I wrote not so long ago. Someone who read it took issue with a particular part of it:
Despite what my weirdly specific age updates look like – 32, then 37, 38, etc – I do not actually feel a precise difference between one number and another, and I calculated them by adding 1 each year when I did not feel anything extraordinary, and some round number, 10 or 5, each year that felt like a sudden boost.
I want to know how transage folks who use precise numbers for their age were able to pick a number that fits.
Are your ages permanent? As in, you’re not getting older and not getting younger?
Yes, they’re permanent. In the sense that I don’t ‘grow’ older, but sometimes I have a mental shift to being moreso 32 (still 47 just less so) or similar. My body is almost 18 (2 days, oh boy) but I am in no way 18, nor will I ever be, mentally/internally at least. I couldn’t comprehend anything in the realm of trying to imagine myself as younger. Maybe older in the sense of an infinite existence as a deity, but in this body and this physical brain, I feel 47, with a dash of 32 and 53.