- cross-posted to:
- noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works
- cross-posted to:
- noncredibledefense@sh.itjust.works
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Well what about the second peacekeeper? I think he doesn’t know about the second peacekeeper.
What about Trident? Minuteman?? Little Boy!?
[Aragorn-launched Davy Crockett hits Pippin in the face]
“I don’t think he’s heard of Nuclear Winter, Pip.”
We’ve had one nuclear winter, yes, but what about the second nuclear winter?
Patrolling the Harad almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter
If you played the two towers LOTR game you would know that Legolas’ bow is way better than any sniper rifle
Excuse me, I played the Two Towers LOTR game and I learned that B+A+R was how Aragorn paused time whenever an orc attacked him to insta-kill it.
Aragorn with Browning Automatic Rifle sounds about right. It was what Tolkien envisioned.
Even in the books he downed a distant nazgul solo.
Cast your eye on this you glorified lighthouse.
Dark Lord receives a few cans of sunlight
Pippen couldn’t even handle a dragon firework. If he had access to a nuke he’d have leveled the Shire immediately.
Chapter 2: Mordor launched automatic retaliatory nukes at the rest of middle earth, all life in middle earth goes extinct.
Except dwarves, they have good bunkers.
Yeah but what about the Balrog? They’d have that to contend with.
And maybe… in fact I’d bet that creatures like Smaug could survive a nuclear blast even relatively nearby and probably even radioactive fallout, and just in case, they’d also know where every single cave in Middle Earth is, could quickly find cover before being exposed too much.
I like the idea that it’s the first thing that happens in chapter 1. Pippin uses the nuke before having been given any narrative reason to want to use it. Because he’s just that kind of chaotic energy.
Just in time before elevenses.
Get the big one, Pip!
“We’ve had one yes, but what about second strike?”
The NCD crossover I didn’t know I needed
Lord of the Rings but Bilbo had a Low Orbit Ion Cannon.
Bilbo is DDOSing Sauron? He won’t be able to “influence” the orcs through Instagram.
I was thinking GDI’s, but he can use both
Lord of the Rings but Gondor has the United States military-industrial complex
How about sending some Terminators back in time to kill Sauron before he gains power?
Problem is that Sauron looked dope as fuck, and terminators love looking badass, and so they’d immediately take his side. Number one rule of being a terminator is to always look cool.
It’s more like “Pippin accidentally nukes Rivendell.”
That’s some Galaxy Brain Tolkien shit right there, man.
Chapter One
Pippin commits a preemptive strike against a low grade threat. Thus becoming war criminal; the international community turns against The Shire as the dangerous loose cannons they have shown themselves to be.
The fact they are nuclear armed leads to years of protracted negotiations; extremely harsh sanctions and the economic ruin of The Shire.
The remains of Mordor; rise up and become far more important on the international stage. As the injured party they telegraph this into a much louder voice than they should command. They oppose the Elves but have similar goals, the control and subjugation of the humans.
