I’ve mastered the ability to take any idea or thought and transform it into anxiety. Jitters McGee

  • 9tr6gyp3@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Im a top 1% player in Rocket League after playing for 4500 hours. The skill gap between me and the best players in the game is the same gap as between me and a brand new player.

    But i will still beat 99% of the game’s population.

    • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Same for me, but with Tetris. I’m not the best, but I’m confident I can handedly beat the vast majority of the population. I spent most of my lockdown days just doing Tetris.

      • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        4 months ago

        Similar on Splatoon. Before the recent rank reset I was S+6, it blows my mind that people go up to like S+20. But when the season ends, all the S+x ratings reset to S rank, and playing with normal S rank people recently reminded me of that.

        • Cris@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          I was literally just about so say same for splatoon, I just hit my highest elo ever and I’m really proud of myself 🥺

          Do you play much x rank? I’m surprised to see someone refrencing their anarchy rank as opposed to x power

          • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            4 months ago

            I don’t do too much X rank, I mostly stick to anarchy. Though I do jump into the occasional X game when I’m feeling masochistic.

            My main goal really is to master as many kits as I can and to learn their roles, and X games are not the tier for experimentation. Anarchy is a bit more lenient.

            • Cris@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              Gotcha, I can see why you’d be more into anarchy then. Congrats on S+6 ☺️

    • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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      4 months ago

      Yeah same, but with like 2K hours. At some point I was Grand Champion 1 or something. I could probably win against 2 noobs without me using jump and boost, but in the few moments I played against pros I got equally clapped. It’s insane to me how much better pro players are.

      After Epic bought it the whole game slowly went to shit though. Psyonix once treated the game and its community as their baby, but it just became a soulless money printer without any decent innovation. So I barely play anymore, even though the core game is ultimately still fun.

    • Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      As an 800 hour player that has to put the game down because of competitiveness making me a curmudgeon – Wow, gotta say. That’s so much work.

      Did you use the practice modes to get to be that level or did it just come to you during play?

      • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 months ago

        Played 932h (around 900h actual playtime) and almost exclusively played ranked or rumble/dropshot but never casual.
        Best rank was Diamond 2 or 1 not sure anymore.
        Played it only on keyboard. No controller ever used. Gave it up as a sort of protest against the buyout and never went back.

      • 9tr6gyp3@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago
        • Tons of freeplay
        • Tons of mods/workshop map
        • Ive had some coaching
        • And I also play in an amateur league

        As long as you always play to improve, watch videos to keep up on mechanics/metas, and just immerse yourself in the game, you’ll always climb up. If you play at least 2 hours a day, you’ll be insane before you know it.

        But in the spirit of this post, you could spend your time doing something so much more productive than a video game lol

  • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I can read UPC, UPC-8, ISBN, and EAN bar codes. Tear the numbers off the bottom of the bar code, hand me the lines, and I will tell you the numbers you tore off.

    I used to work the midnight shift at a call center back in the late 90s. It was incredibly boring because we weren’t allowed to browse the internet when no calls were coming in (which was most of the time, got maybe five calls total per night). So I picked up a copy of Yahoo! Internet Life, a now-defunct technology-centered magazine. This issue had a how-to section for wacky shit like that, so I committed it to memory because wtf else was there to do?

    • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      I wouldn’t call that useless. That is how you get to be the executive lead cloud DevOps engineer.

  • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I can fluidly open a trash bag, pull it into a straight line, and toss it like a dart, landing it in an open trash can from up to 30ft.

    This only works with those cheap bags that businesses use and this was honed over years of changing trash at various businesses. Not useful, very majestic though.

  • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    i can roll quarters down my fingers continuously because I saw Val kilmer do it in Real Genius and I wanted to be cool like him.

  • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I can make double fart sounds by laying on my back and cupping my knee-armpits with both hands.

    Not entirely useless though; I showed this to my SO 7 years ago when we started dating and she was clearly impressed as she’s still hanging around.

  • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I could never spin a pen around my thumb so instead I learned how to “flick” it, have it do a flip and land back in my hand.

    I can also rapidly place two strips of tape on one another with no bubbles and parallel enough you’d think it’s one piece. However I can only do this vertically

    • Codename_goose@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      The pen flip/flicking seems like a skill I would love to learn. Do you have a video or know of a video showing or teaching this?

      • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        It’s possible there is someone or a video who can show you though I came up with it myself in leu of spinning it so I don’t personally have any sources.

        I can give you a written explanation though!

        Step one: Hold the Pen as you normally would

        Step two: Get the rubber pen grip (or associated area, roughly 1/3 the length from the tip) onto the knuckle at your finger tip or just in front of it (towards the tip of your finger). This should have your finger in a C position which should put you pretty close to a flick position.

        Step 3: Put your thumb in front of the tip of your finger and apply counter pressure between your fingers (ready to flick)

        Step 4: Release your restrained middle finger causing your finger to flick and sending the pen up in a flipping motion.

        Notable: If the pen flys forward try adjusting how forward or backwards the pen sits on your knuckle (I.E. 1/3, 1/4 etc.). Same if the flip is too speedy or slow.

        Adjusting your wrist or moving your hand up to start with some momentum can be useful when learning.

        Consistency is hard but you’ll get the feel in time

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    4 months ago

    I can independently write different text with both hands at the same time just as easily as writing with only one hand. I consider this a useless skill because I rarely ever write with an actual pen or pencil, so being able to write with both hands simultaneously doesn’t add anything.

    Lots of time being bored in school and an obsession with broadening the mind.

      • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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        4 months ago

        In principle, yes, but this would require some additional effort because of word spacing. The sentence would need to come together and meet at a point.

    • qprimed@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      I consider this a useless skill

      I dont know, friend. thats a bit of a step up from the usual party trick.

      best I’ve got is zero lead hand/leg preference when sparring muay thai. makes me a real lonely or a real popular dance partner depending on the crowd.

    • somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Basically same. I don’t know if being ambidextrous is something you can be born with. I broke arms, wrists, fingers enough that functionality I had to be able to use both hands in school and sports.

    • dnick@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Second job overnights at a gas station… Pretty much any combination of right/left hand, upside down/mirrored, cursive/text, words forward/letters backwards, etc.

    • BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      So this sounded crazy to me, like I’d never be able to do that, I just grabbed paper, a pen in my left hand(I’m right handed) and a pen shaped object in the other(it doesn’t write) I moved both hands at the same time as if writing with both, and my left hand writing is better than I’ve ever seen myself do, when trying to independently write with my left hand.

  • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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    4 months ago

    I won’t say “mastered” as I have lost the ability now, but back in college Pokemon endgame content gave me the ability to read braille by looking at it.

    That’s about as useless as possible.

  • Ænima@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I am better at helping others flesh out ideas and expanding on them than I am making up my own ideas. I’m good at troubleshooting problems better than most I’ve ever met. I owe both to PC troubleshooting over the last few decades (from Apple 2e and Pentium II to present). I find that people these days have tunnel vision and focus on short-term gains over long-term payoffs, often to the detriment of future productivity.

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I can jump up a small flight of stairs (3-4 stairs) in a way that makes it look like I just floated up the stairs.

    I got good at it because in high school I thought it would be funny to be able to do this so I started practicing.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I have an uncanny ability to do things that are unpopular, that later become popular, but I can never imagine them becoming popular when I do them.

    Saw Nirvana in a crowd of 30 people before they got famous, certainly never thought they would, it was so different from what was on the radio then. Bought a shirt from them, out of their little van parked in the alley behind the bar!

    Used to wear vintage dresses from the thrift store in the 1980s, nobody around me was dressed anything like that, but later all of them got bought up by flippers.

    Had tattoos when it was remarkably unusual for a woman, like if another woman with tattoos saw me they would stop and talk to me, I never ever ever would have thought they’d be mainstream.

    Lots of stuff like that, like I’m out of synch with time but I can never capitalize on it because I don’t have the vision to understand that it will catch on!

    • SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You’re constantly ahead of your time, without foresight. So you can’t seem to capitalize on it - oh well, money ain’t everything. You’ve got experiences no money can buy.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Gardening in the last few years, sourdough and home fermentation I’ve done for 15 years or so. I don’t really think those will catch on generally because most people don’t cook but I will say a few people have asked for some of my starter lately so who knows? Tepache I’ve been making for years and I just saw some being sold in whole foods, so maybe. But more likely that happened as an offshoot of the Kombucha craze, which I was not a part of. Have been using henna to color my hair for years too, that hasn’t exploded in popularity.

        I have been late to the party on things too - mobile phones I held out as long as I could, Pokemon Go, late adopter. Electric bike. Fontaines DC.

        On the really spooky side though - I had this dining room set from the 1940s, the upholstery tore so I went to the local commercial upholstery shop and found sparkly red vinyl from the state fair rides, reupholstered them (badly) with silver trim.

        Couple years later was at Target and they had a reproduction set exactly like my old one - exactly the same chairs, covered in the exact same sparkly red vinyl I’d used. It was precisely like my kitchen table set just better execution. What the actual fuck?

        • z00s@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Target legit steals designs from lesser known artists, even here in Australia they’ve been caught doing it

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            I can absolutely believe that, but I don’t think I had any Target executives over, and it was before social media. And that’s really why I think it’s a useless skill, someone else could have looked at it and thought “huh, that would sell” but all I was thinking was that it would look unusual and cool and not sellable.