The journey of discovering my Orientation has been hectic and unprecedented.
Discovered Components;
- Queerness
- Aromanticism and Romance-Repulsion
- Paraphilia
- Abnormal Sexuality
- Neurosexuality - in particular plurality, trauma, and schizospectrum affect sexuality
- Aesthetic Attraction
- Invidious Attraction
- Relationship Anarchy
- Non-Monogamy
- Aplatonicism and Neuroplatonicism - in particular autism and trauma affect friendship capabilities
- Afamiliality
What all of that concludes to is that my sexual attraction is non-linear. Due to trauma I am detached from my body, and developed internally plural instead. I feel no strong connection to my body or reality, therefor no desire to engage in sexual acts through it. My way of experiencing and exploring sexuality happens internally, in what I call Mindscape. The reason I reject Asexual labels is because my internal experience feels more real and authentic than my external experience. I do consider the possibility that I might be in an Asexual body with low libido. In disorienting juxtaposition, internally I am extremely hypersexual.
When it comes to making friendships, I do have interest hypothetically, but don’t posess much social battery, basically no prior attraction, and an extremely long grace period before I develop a deep connection. With potential friendship contenders, I prefer to remain in a limbo of being friendly strangers until I am comfortable upgrading our connection.
When it comes to any potential future relationships, I do have interest hypothetically. I do not know what this would look like physically, but I do know that I would require the aforementioned friendship upgrade first. My primary love language is quality time, I am not a very affectionate or loving being. I seek mental, spiritual, and creative stimulation, as well as compatible humour, values, interests, and life style.