Still learning the rules of this room by the way so bear with me

  • okbin@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    downvotes REALLY bother me. why it bothers me personally: i have severe mental health issues (to the point of disability). due to how i grew up, i heavily internalized being and accepting that i’m always bad and horrible and wrong and punishing myself for it. when i get criticized or downvoted - even if it’s silly - i feel HORRIBLE, because obviously i MUST’VE done something VERY BAD and VERY WRONG and i must be PUNISHED and i must CORRECT. and it’s even more frustrating when i don’t know what to correct. bonus, i have autism and adhd, so i can say things considered “wrong” and not know why, but people won’t explain it to me because apparently i should magically know. and i don’t want to be a bad person, but now i’m suddenly a bad person and i don’t know what to do about it.

    this is just ME. i don’t think it applies to most people. and inb4 “bruh it’s just a downvote, it’s not that deep, touch grass” AGREED. BIG AGREE. but if you understand anything about psychology, it can take a very long time to undo stuff that’s so deeply ingrained from childhood, if it can be undone at all. i have actually heavily improved in this area in terms of recognizing i’m not necessarily wrong and rarely need to be punished, but the emotional reaction sadly has not changed much.

    also, some (not all) people just seem to use downvotes as a personal attack, and that’s just annoying as hell. i think people can relate to this much more.

    i try hard not to downvote, because i don’t think it’s necessary most of the time. people seem to downvote the silliest things…

    • iAmTheTot@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      I mean this with the utmost respect, but this might not be the platform for you mate. That kinda feels like knowing that you have a gambling addiction and going to a casino.

    • CIWS-30@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, story of my life. Me too. Especially the part about “I don’t know what I did wrong, but people won’t explain it to me because they feel like I should magically know”

      I totally identify with and agree with you. I also have to note that if there’s a small amount of downvotes that are within the margin of error, it might be a misclick or mistouch, especially if the upvote and downvote arrows are REALLY close together. I’ve gone back to look at some of the stuff I voted on only to find that I’d accidentally downvotes due to an overly sensitive gaming mouse, fat fingers, and / or just being too busy laughing at a funny meme or being excited by an amazing post and not really paying close attention to where I was clicking.

      I corrected those accidental downvotes, but I’m OCD about stuff like that because I don’t like downvoting people either. So I can easily imagine that casuals who are clumsly or really excited about a post they like might downvote by accident and not go back and fix it. Totally serious here. A lot of downvotes are probably supposed to be upvotes.