“You aren’t writing enough lines of code!” - Management
My boss’s boss, a former Ops manager who liked to keep track of system stats, once asked her why the CPU usage on the dev box had decreased that month. Weren’t the devs doing any work?
If this were a Node module, I wouldn’t even be surprised.
I’m a bit disappointed there isn’t a call to GetBooleanValue in there
Clearly it should be
return orig == val
Duh
To match the current behavior it should be orig != val
You’re hired. Can your start on Monday?
Straight from the famous book “Making LOCs for Dummies”
I misread it as CompareBolians. No more Star Trek memes for me today.
Many Bolians died bringing us this information.
WTAF? Is this written by a hallucinating AI?
I think it’s a joke (maybe)
I don’t think this is the sort of error an AI would make.
I’ve asked ChatGPT to create boiler plate code and it will offer these nested functions so you can change the logic in the future. It’s not smart enough to ask why you’re doing something a particular way or suggest a better alternative.
bool ButAreTheyReallyEqualThough(bool orig, bool val)
can’t believe they forgot to implement
bool IsTrue(bool)
andbool IsFalse(bool)
🙄Don’t do OOP kids
That’s not OO code
Still good advice, though.
Not really. Good advice would be to use the right tool for the job
Not even once
This is your brain when you OD on OOP.
There’s literally nothing related to OOP in this snippet.
You’re right, this is just not oop AT ALL.
For the correct OOP solution, you would need consider whether this can be thought of as a kind of stateless leaf method, and therefore implement it as an abstract (singleton) factory, but on the other hand, if you’re using a context object with the registry pattern, you should probably do this properly with IoC containers. Of course, if your object graph isn’t too complex or entangled, you could always just do constructor injection but you risk manging your unit tests, so I would go cautiously if I were looking in that direction.
I love how OOP devolves into shoving code up it’s own ass.
Shouldn’t there be a call to the boolean comparison microservices server in there somewhere? Also, we should consider the possibility that booleans and their operators could be overloaded to do something else entirely. We might need a server farm to handle all of the boolean comparison service requests.
You’re so right, I didn’t think of that. Maybe I’m not cut out to be a manager in IT.
SOLVED. On reflection, @[email protected] has come up with the perfect solution - let me explain,
Parallelism
YES. We should utilise a microservices architecture so that we can leverage a fundamental distributed interconnected parallelism to these boolean comparisons which is bound to beat naive single-thread, single-core calculation hands down. Already. But it gets better.
Load balancing
Of course a load balancing microservice would be useful because you don’t want one of the boolean comparison microservices accidentally taking too great a share of the computation, making the whole topology more brittle than it needs to be.
Heuristics
A boolean comparison request-comparing analytics microservice could evaluate different request distribution heuristics to the individual microservice nodes (for example targetting similar requests resolving to true/true or false/true etc versus fair-balancing-oriented server targetting versus pseudo-random distribution etc etc), and do so for randomly selected proportions of the uptime.
Analysis
The incoming boolean comparison requests would be tagged and logged for cross-reference and analysis, together with the computation times, the then-current request-distribution heuristic and the selected server, so that each heuristic can be analysed for effectiveness in different circumstances.
Non-generative AI
In fact, the simplest way of evaluating the different heuristic pragmas would be to input the aforementioned boolean comparison request logs, together with some general data on time of day/week/year and general performance metrics, into a neural network with a straightforward faster-is-better training programme, and pretty soon you’ll ORGANICALLY find the MOST EFFICIENT way of managing the boolean comparison requests.
Executive summary:
Organically evaluated stochastically-selected heuristics leverage AI for a monotonically-improving service metric, reducing costs and upscaling customer productivity on an ongoing basis without unnecessary unbillable human-led code improvement costs. Neural networks can be marketed under separate brands both as AI solutions and as LLM-free solutions, leveraging well-understood market segmentation techniques to drive revenues from disparate customer bases. Upgrade routes between the different marketing pathways can of course be monetised, but applying a 3%-above inflation mid-term customer inertia fee allows for prima-facia discounts when customers seek cost reduction-inspired pathway transfers, whilst ensuring underlying income increases that can be modelled as pervasive and overriding lower bounds for the two SAAS branches, independent of any customer churn, whilst well-placed marketing strategies can reasonably be expected to drive billable customer “upgrades” between pathways, mitigating any prima-facia discounts even before the underlying monotonicity price-structuring schemas.
I was just thinking it needed more factories
What about a factory for the factories! There’s nothing more efficient than a tool making tool making tool.
I know. I didn’t say this was OOP, I said this was your brain when you OD on OOP. While we are not dealing with objects, I’d argue that the kind of approach that would lead one to needlessly overcompartmentalise code like this is the product of having a little too much OOP.
Wait areBooleanEqual returns false when they are equal?
That’s not even the worst part. What the fuck does a function named Compare_anything do? Does it return anything? It sounds like nothing but a side effect.
Usually comparison functions are supposed to return an integer and are usually useful for sorting. However this one returns a bool so it’s both useless and terribly named.
The unnecessary and confusing functions are horrible, yes, but I’d still say that the fact that they’re wrong is the “worst” part.
That’s enough chit-chat, nerds. Back to work.
- Management
yesn’t
This actually made me laugh, thank you.
Don’t forget the invocation
if (CompareBooleans(a, b) == true)
if (CompareBooleans(CompareBooleans(a, b), true))
I don’t like this thread anymore :(
No, no, this is actually the only correct code in the thread.
that… actually works…
elseif(CompareBooleans(b,a) != false)
Management: Gee whiz, we really have no idea how to gauge productivity to decide who gets promoted. We could manage. Or, better, we could just have someone write a script that pulls info from git on how many lines of code each person has written.
Programmers:
I promote based on lines of code removed.
Which is all the easier to do when you start off with a higher number…
Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol
I love deleting code, including my own, more than writing code. That’s a killer metric imo.
I quit based on idiotic metrics
Ah, the idiotic idiotic metric metric.
Are you 14?
I’m sure it was meant as a joke, not a serious criticism.
I think we can all agree that managers who have no idea what’s important absolutely suck
I don’t know what the age metric has to do with anything.