I tried chatting on some of the recommended apps on Reddit and I can confirm that none of them work.

Which bring me to the following question: How do you find people who are interested in long-term relationships online?

Note: Please don’t suggest looking in the real life.

  • Bear@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    3·
    11 hours ago
    1. Be the friend you wish to have.
    2. Show people who you are.
    3. Follow up with the best of them.
  • squid_slime@lemm.ee
    3·
    11 hours ago

    Kink dating apps seem to work well for me. Also rather than swiping on repeats and ladies that aren’t my type I block, sounds heartless but its good to have a boundary and stops mainstream dating apps from repeating the same people. personal I avoid woman who in every photo are at a club, wear brands, plastic surgery, essentially they have life styles at odds from mine. Outdoorsy, intelligent seems my type so basically don’t shy from setting boundary.

    And like most other comments have mentioned, pursue your passion, if thats video game, science fiction or sports, post about it, have discussions and genuinely seek positive interactions.

    • inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world
      28·
      2 days ago

      Just when the guild splinters in two because a clique will fix all the problems with the old guild, always go with the new folk, they will appreciate your loyalty. At least until y’all invariably splinter again, but then you’ll get new appreciation!

    • 211@sopuli.xyz
      3·
      2 days ago

      Met my partner in a MUD, kind of a text-based pre-MMO. He was tank, I was healer, it was meant to be.

      In general, talking with people who are doing a thing you are interested in too. The way I see it, maybe 10% of people are “friend” potential, 1% “good friend” potential, and .1% partner potential. You’ll want to look in populations where you have something in common with the people, and thus the odds a bit higher.

  • henfredemars@infosec.pubEnglish
    43·
    2 days ago

    This isn’t so easy although it does happen. Most people aren’t meant to be in your life long-term IMHO and this typically isn’t the expectation that others will have when talking to randoms online. I met my wife on a porn site, although I wouldn’t recommend attempting to execute such a strategy for example. I recommend online activities that encourage interacting with a small group ofpeople on a consistent basis, such as a DND group, rolepaying, or perhaps writing short stories where you get the chance to know each other better while enjoying an activity that already makes you happy if you can find one.

    • Hanrahan@slrpnk.netEnglish
      53·
      2 days ago

      I met my wife on a porn site

      You cant leave us hanging like this, should they make it into a Hallmark movie ? Performer? was she a performer or were you, both ? Or both just fellow connisuers?

      • henfredemars@infosec.pubEnglish
        36·
        2 days ago

        Sorry! No, we’re not performers nor especially attractive. In the interest of keeping it family-friendly we have a special interest and we connected because we were both fans of the same performer who is associated with and known for that special interest content that not many people like to enjoy. We are also avid writers so we wrote stories based on that special interest, and then we ended up getting to know each other through that writing. Writing is how we expressed those feelings that we can’t share with other people who don’t understand us as easily. After about a year of hanging out virtually I took a week off work and came to visit.

  • LenielJerron@lemmy.world
    12·
    2 days ago

    I don’t know much about how to enter into a relationship online; I know people who have done it, but it’s never been something that I’ve been interested in. However, many of my strongest friendships were made online.

    The trick to making friends online is to not set out with the intention of making friends. It’s paradoxical, I know. What you should do is just find something that you’re interested in, find places online you can talk about them, and try talking about them. Personally I like math, so I met some friends on internet math chatrooms and forums. I like Star Wars, and I made some good friends through talking about Star Wars online.

    Many such places also have a casual conversation place attached. In niche communities where you (a) are already engaging with people with a common interest and (b) there’s few enough people that you will see names and faces regularly, but enough people that the conversation never dies down, eventually you’ll become a known quantity and make friends.

  • Anissem@lemmy.ml
    331·
    2 days ago

    Having reached my 40s, I’ve kind of given up on this sadly. With my work schedule and what it takes out of me, I’ve realized that I’m not that great of a friend anyhow. I can be flaky honestly. But there’s a hole inside of me that I’ve always wanted to fill with a friend, a real connection beyond typical friendship. I’m leaving that hole open but I’ve learned to avoid looking at it. Hope you find your friend.

  • jeffw@lemmy.world
    12·
    2 days ago

    I can confirm that apps work. Half of my relationships as an adult are from online dating.

  • Doxatek@mander.xyz
    161·
    2 days ago

    You can confirm none of them work? They can work. Sometimes you have to give it time. I met my wife on tinder. The thing is it takes a while. I didn’t meet the love of my life on there after a single day or week. I was on the app for a couple years. It’s hit or miss and takes learning.

    • half_fiction@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      7·
      2 days ago

      Yup, I had the same thought. I met my partner of 5 years on okcupid, but it also took me years of messages/dates/flings before we found each other. Dating and finding a good match is complicated and so much of it is purely a numbers game. Online dating apps are just a vehicle to expose you to more/different people. They aren’t some binary that either does or does not work.

  • Christian@lemmy.mlEnglish
    11·
    2 days ago

    I’m in the divorce process and in many ways I’m terrified of reaching the point where I am past the grief and feeling a need to fill that void.

    We met over ten years ago because I posted a personals ad on a local r4r titled “Creepy guy seeks woman way out of his league”. Everything seems 5000x more gamified now.

    I’m somewhat awkward, so I’m a lot more comfortable putting off phone or video for a few days. With that said, I really want to avoid the shame and frustration that comes with taking a full hour to realize I’ve been treating a chatbot like a real human being.

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
    4·
    2 days ago

    My wife and I met on Craigslist of all things. I read something she wrote, popped her a note, she wrote back, one thing led to another and here we are married for 14 years now…

    • InquisitiveApathy@lemm.eeEnglish
      4·
      2 days ago

      Holy crap, I didn’t realize that site still existed. I’ve since lost touch, but I actually met some cool people from around the world that I was friends with for years through that site when I was a teenager 20 years ago.

  • iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works
    9·
    2 days ago

    Engage in spaces and areas where there will be other people with similar interests. That may be a fan club for a hobby you love, a game with multiplayer elements, etc.

  • TheEntity@lemmy.world
    9·
    2 days ago

    Lots of my long-term friendships started with open-source projects. If that’s your kind of thing, it’s worth looking into. Either way it usually all boils down to a common hobby.