I’m traveling with family this weekend in a touristy place and have been out in public in crowded areas. I am really shocked by the number of people who have loud, personal conversations on the phone in speaker mode. This ranges from walking down the sidewalk, to in line for washrooms, to seated restaurant dining.

I’ve heard people say that it’s because the phone speaker breaks (for their ear) but I’ve never had that happen in all the years I’ve destroyed phones and never had a friend or colleague say that happened. Other people say it’s because the glass is cracked and they worry about cutting their face, etc.

My personal bias is this is inconsiderate but then I ask myself how is it different from talking to a person next to them, say. I’m willing to be change my mind here.

People who do this, please explain what’s going on so I can sleep at night. :)

  • Dojan@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    My boss mentioned that she thinks it’s from those reality TV shows like the Kardashian ones where all calls are on speaker since it’s part of the “entertainment.”

    It’s why people are holding the phone up to their face like a sandwich and speaking into the bottom. It mimics the TV shows.

    • Tuxman@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Oh my god!! That’s the most plausible hypothesis I’ve heard on that weird phenomenon!!

      People do the weirdest and most uncomfortable pose just because they don’t understand they do it on TV so the Boom mic can pick up the convo….

    • λλλ@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      I like this as a possible explanation. In my experience however, it’s been older people who do this. The generation that most likely wouldn’t be watching these shows

      • shalafi@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        52 here and I do this. It’s comfortable and people can hear me well. I don’t do it in public, except for walking around my yard and talking to a customer or vendor. Even then I feel a little odd.

        What is a “television show”?

        • λλλ@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, I do it not in public too. The topic is specifically about in public though and that’s what I was addressing.

    • yesdogishere@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      even without speaker phone, im always shouting out my conversations out loud. it’s a good way to build mojo. Anytime people stare too long, i just glare and scream “waddya looking at !!!”. Mojo is very important, and helps me get the best business deals.

    • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      They hold it up because they’re holding a microphone and speaking into it. It doesn’t have anything to do with reality TV.

      • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        You’re misunderstanding their comment. The person is referring to people that hold the phone up to their mouth to speak into, but not up to their ear to listen because they’re using speakerphone. This is a dumb way to use the phone because you don’t need to hold the phone up to your face if you’re using speakerphone

        • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Yes that’s what I’m talking about. They’re holding the phone up in front of them like a microphone and speaking at it.

          • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            When the other user said “they should hold on the side of their face like they’re supposed to” you said the same thing. What he said is different from what I said, so which orientation are you actually talking about?

            • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              What is so difficult to understand?

              It’s why people are holding the phone up to their face like a sandwich and speaking into the bottom.

              This is the comment I replied to. They are speaking into the microphone.

              • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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                1 year ago

                You responded to this comment: https://lemmy.world/comment/4351598

                They described a completely different phone orientation and you claimed that’s what you were describing.

                Also, the comment you are currently referring to is describing the person holding the phone horizontal and speaking into the mic while also using speakerphone which means there’s literally no need to hold the phone up to your face

                • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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                  1 year ago

                  Oook dude.
                  It’s the same fucking thing lol

                  Do you need me to list every possible way a person could hold a phone while on speaker? What will satisfy this obsession you have?

        • andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          It’s a behavior I started to see in people recording voice messages. Some UIs lagged behind and didn’t turn off the screen at that time + these persons may want to reference whatever happened in their chat. Why they record audio is another question.

      • Tuxman@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        I doubt that’d be the reason (for iphones at least) because when you turn on speakerphone, the sounds comes out the bottom and the voice goes in the FaceTime mic at the top of the screen (beside the earpiece).

        So if they want to be heard as clearly as they can, they should hold the display facing them (like you’re in a video call but no image)

        • WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Right. That’s what I’m saying. They are holding it up and talking at the microphone.

  • TurboDiesel@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    They just don’t care. Simple as. People with brand-new phones do the same thing. There’s just no regard for other people.

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      1 year ago

      Buying a brand new phone is the same as speaking into one on speaker phone? I don’t follow the logic. Also you can get non-used phones of older models that have never been used, if that’s your argument…

  • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    As someone with really bad anxiety, these people are aliens to me. Whenever I start to think I understand people, behavior like this is so incredibly foreign that I can can’t comprehend relating to

    • MajesticSloth@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I don’t even like taking a call or listening to other people take a call in the same room as I am. I always leave the room for privacy. In a home environment at least, could deal with it in a work environment. So I really don’t get it for those that do it in public.

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You never know what the other person is going to say. It’s safer to leave the room in case they say something in what they assume is a private call. A few times when the group I’m with needs to hear what’s on the phone, I always let the person on the other side I’m turning on the speaker. I would be pissed and stop calling the other person if I thought they had me on blast.

        • ____@infosec.pub
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          1 year ago

          People do that to me at work frequently - I know you have me on speaker, that’s fine, but you’re in your little private office so no worries…

          Nope, Jerry from Billing is sitting there listening to every word, and will jump in and offer “assistance” on topics he knows fuck all about. The person I’m actually trying to assist will of course take Jerry’s input over mine… So why didn’t you just ask him in the first place?

    • grabyourmotherskeys@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      I have really bad anxiety but I’m really good at pretending I don’t except under a lot of stress. That’s partly why I asked this. I just don’t understand. I’ve been on the road since I asked this but the few replies I’ve seen do make some sense so I’m glad I asked.

  • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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    1 year ago

    I know how judgemental this sounds, but it’s because the bottom speaker is louder, and because they don’t care about other people.

    Since the phone was invented, they designed it with a speaker that goes against your ear for easily heard, yet private conversations.

  • nul9o9@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m actually in the broken phone speaker boat, but I just stopped taking calls in public spaces.

  • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m this person. I have a few rules - I never have a phone conversation on public transport (bus, train, etc) and if it’s a long conversation or overly personal I’ll tell them I’ll call them back when I’m in a private room.

    But I’ll answer quick calls like “can you grab bread on your way home?” or “I’m on my way, but I’m running late” on speaker in public.

    I have reverse slope hearing loss, and I’m a very forgetful person who always leaves their seventeen pairs of headphones somewhere that isn’t on my person.

    I can’t hear phone conversations properly without putting the phone directly in front of me so both ears are listening.

    It’s gotten better with VoIP because the method of compression is different to the old copper lines - I can’t hear shit over analogue, as a teenager I used to use relay services because I couldn’t hear male voices over phone. But some people’s phone service is still really badly compressed, I’m on a tight budget so unfortunately I can’t afford a quality service, or a flagship smartphone that let’s me pitch adjust incoming calls.

    I can’t afford hearing aids for RSHL (they’re not standard) so in the meantime I answer the phone on speaker and hold it in front of my face. (unless I have my headphones and can plug both in)

    I try not to shout at my phone, but half the time it’s my deaf mother calling me and we just end up shouting at each other over the phone, or it’s one of the students calling me, I teach conversational English for migrants and IT for seniors, so there’s a huge language or hearing barrier and my stupid little monkey brain thinks speaking louder will help even though I know it won’t.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I was about to ask if you considered texting for those occurrences…… until your Mother entered the picture, and seniors, maybe migrants

  • IamLost@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    My mother does this. She says it’s because she can’t hear it when she puts it up to her ear. I think she’s just not positioning the phone correctly to her ear. I’ve bought her headphones and headsets, but she’s a retired old lady that’s technologically challenged so she’s pretty much never going to stop it.

    • grabyourmotherskeys@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      My mother has hearing aids which are terrible with any phone so I told her to use speaker phone but the idea of using the phone when not at home unless it’s an emergency is still pretty far out there for her. :)

      • Hexarei@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        My boss got hearing aids that connect via Bluetooth to his phone. It was always kinda funny to start talking to him and have him put a finger up to indicate you should wait while he turns off his music lol

        • grabyourmotherskeys@lemmy.worldOP
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          1 year ago

          I have often thought about how people today will be fine with hearing aids while people in my parents generation are obsessed with hiding them or not using them when they should because they don’t want people to know that need them.

          Those tiny hearing aids are hard to work with (changing the batteries, finding them of they go missing, etc). I’ll be wearing headphones anyway, why not use them in hearing aid mode?

  • Kofu@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    If you have a friend or family member that does this, call them when you are in a busy place and start talking mad crazy shit. Quickly learn, and its a bit of fun… if they can take the joke that is.

  • rebul@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    In the airport restroom this morning, some jackass having a speaker conversation while he was taking a dump. Classy.

    • criticon@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      That’s your chance to release the loudest fart possible while they are talking

      There was a guy at my previous job that took meetings while doing his business. Everybody would try to be as loud as possible and flush several times to make extra noise but he just didn’t care

      • quicksand@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        They make a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I shit on company time… Dude was just being a Chad about it

    • evulhotdog@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I had a customer that was on video, while taking a dump recently.

      You could see a mirror to their left and a shower curtain to their right.

      He was also shirtless.

  • dangblingus@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    North Americans suffer from main character syndrome. They learned the speakerphone thing from watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. People literally think you’re supposed to use a cell phone on speakerphone only because Kim does it, not understanding that it’s for the camera so the audience can hear both sides of the conversation.

    • grabyourmotherskeys@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      That’s true, never thought of that. These are definitely conversations but I take you point, thank you.

      I have a coworker whose wife only sends voice messages, no texting etc.

    • Bermos@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Which is also stupid since at least for playback you can just put the phone up to your ear as you would for a phone call and the sound switches to the top speaker.

  • mysoulishome@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Curious what country are from from and where you are you visiting? This has been an annoying phenomenon for 10-15 years but it seems like it used to be moreso an elderly person thing. Maybe it’s the fact that gen x and millennials (who have had smartphones most of their adult lives) are now getting older and losing their hearing?

    Personally I think it’s mostly a courtesy issue. People lack consideration. If you get a call walk somewhere else. Bring headphones with you. Or just keep the conversation short and call back when you are in private. I always see people get calls and expect them to say “hey Paula I’m at a soccer game so let me call you back” but often times they just fucking chat away… Like we’re watching our kids play soccer, this is not your living room, and I don’t wanna hear your goddamn conversation in the background. Watch the game. Or on the subway I personally would just want to keep a conversation short so everyone is not listening to my conversation. I don’t want them listening and judging for my sake (semi-introvert) and I don’t want to annoy them for their sake. Lots of people just lack self awareness like there are other people around who don’t want to be involved. I don’t want to hear your conversation because then it’s in my head and I don’t want your dumb shit taking up valuable brain space.

    Example, at a recent soccer practice a dad conversation talking about work shit included confirming “Greggy is handling the refi.” Just a fucking ridiculous statement. An adult called Greggy and the fact that Greggy is handling the refi. I would never let someone called Greggy manage finances. You’re fucking Greg or you are limited to financial transactions up to and including milk money and nothing more. I don’t want this in my head. Fuck that guy.

    I hope it gets better, I’m not a fan of hating on Gen Z who is mostly under 18 at this point…so I’m having faith they will be considerate adults and common courtesy, self awareness, caring about other people, mental health support all that shit will be intrenched in their values. TikTok influencers aside…that is not all kids.

    • λλλ@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      I agree. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen some under the age of like 50 do this? I could have a bias too though.

      • IamLost@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Former friend of mine in his early 40s does this. I’ve even confronted him about it because it’s caused some embarrasing moments. He seems to think all of us (his friends) want to join in on his phone conversations or he wants to be the center of attention. He was a big asshole and narcissist.

  • kcdaguy@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    For me, it’s so I can read information from my screen while I am on the phone. I can pull up my calendar and schedule appointments or look up an email and share the information with my conversation. I also just hold my phone to my face when I don’t need to look at the screen.