I currently work at a faang after working at several startups over the last 10-15 years. In my logical brain, I KNOW I’m in a good place career wise, I just feel massive imposter syndrome and that I’ll never get ahead. I also have ADHD, and may have light autism/audhd as well, according to my therapist. (Although I assume that goes for most devs)

I’ve had several projects come up in my time at the faang where I got a project 80-90% of the way done, only to have either a personal issue, or a forced reorg, come up and take me off the project. Leading someone else to take it over and take it over the finishing line. Leaving behind a trail of unmerged PRs that someone else copied, tweaked the code, and then committed under their name… Or reporting on the final piece of the puzzle that was really the hardest part.

Other times, I’d spend almost days trying to figure out a problem, and only to have a small PR of a few lines that fixed the issue for my troubles. Something I feel I SHOULD have figured out right off the bat. Or realize that I had an environment/caching problem that delayed me many hours.

Coworker who was on my interview panel actually told me in confidence that it was mainly bc the hiring manager really liked me that I got hired. Most others said no. He said he liked me, but the mgr was really fighting for me. I sorta figured that, but it still felt weird to hear.

Also,I was fired by more than a few of the previous companies, so that adds to it.

Has this happened to others? Does anyone else feel this way?

For more context, I’m almost forty and have been programming professionally since I was 21/22… I feel I should be farther in my career at this point.

On the plus side, I have a more than decent non work life (spouse, 2 kids, on good terms with my folks and siblings, and mostly healthy)