Hi folks, I thought I’d create some content and share some experience and learning around any concerns I had about being childfree in my first 10 years after my tubal. I hope this can help those that are at this stage now.

I will say that 35 years after my tubal, I realized in retrospect, somewhere during that time, that I knew in my teens I didn’t want kids. I did go through a period, soon after my tubal at 24, of about 10 years where a lot of my friends tried to pressure me into either spending a ton of time with their kids or even adopt, where I wondered if I really wanted kids cuz I liked babies under 6 months of age. It wasn’t until I got close to someone and her newborn, where I spent plenty of time with her kid over the next 3 years and she was TOTALLY accepting of my decision and NEVER pushed an agenda. I finally realized I truly lost interest in the kid after about 6 months of age and knew I wasn’t interested, not because I was pushing back against acquaintances who were pushing their own agenda in opposition to mine, but because I JUST LOST INTEREST. It took a good, secure in their parenthood, friend to let me understand there was zero interest on my part.

As it turns out what I like about babies was the oxytocin hit from carrying them around, which I learned I could get from cats and small dogs, of which I have 2 now, and they stay small forever instead of just 6 months!

  • Abdoanmes@kbin.social
    58·
    1 year ago

    Agreed. OP can just say, “Having kids isn’t for me.” And that’s cool, we accept that. It sounds a bit like trying to justify the choice to themselves or at the very least help other be ok with the decision to not have kids. The pet analogy is over simplified. One thing I will say is that having kids of your own vs being around someone else’s is very different. Being there through the grow and maturity into a functional human is the reward and frankyly it goes super fast. It felt like.yeaterday I was holding my kids as newborns and now they are in high school. The journey is the experience .To each their own on their choices.

    • Countess425@lemmy.world
      62·
      1 year ago

      Excuse me sir or ma’am, you are in the childfree community about being childfree. If you would like to participate in parenting conversations or discuss how great kids are, I’m sure there are places dedicated to that, but this is not it.

      • LizardKing@sh.itjust.works
        25·
        1 year ago

        Friend, this is a forum website designed for discussion and interaction. If you want an echo chamber, I’m sure there are places dedicated to that, but this is not it.

        Start your own private instance, only allow specific people in, close that shit up tight if you want.

        This is not that place.

        • richieadler@lemmy.myserv.oneEnglish
          1·
          1 year ago

          Communities have intended topics. Just because you oppose being childfree doesn’t mean it’s OK to enter a community for trolling.

    • LizardKing@sh.itjust.works
      210·
      1 year ago

      Exactly, a child becomes an intelligent, mature adult. A person. A real person walking around, feeling things, talking to people, sharing knowledge and ideas and experiences. No part of pet ownership can emulate that.