sometimes i see people on here saying “yuri is for the male gaze.” this has always been a massive oversimplification, many examples i see cited are shoujo, but i’d like to present my favorite example of yuri that is antithetical to the very idea of male gaze yuri, and a good example of how many, if not all blanket complaints about manga and anime as an artforms go away when you start to stray into josei territory (seriously, read and watch josei! check out showa genroku rakugo shinju if you haven’t!)

she loves to cook and she loves to eat is an ongoing manga that’s been running since 2021. it’s about 2 neighbors who wind up with a mutual relationship. nomoto loves to cook, but can never finish her meals and would like to be able to cook larger and more complex dishes. her neighbor kasuga is a big eater, but doesn’t cook very much and is more than happy to join nomoto for dinner. they grow closer, you can probably see the tragectory

now, what makes this so good? first of all, it’s about adults. with jobs. it’s one of the most grounded manga i’ve ever read. the 2 main characters are constantly receiving little microaggressions, but never in a way that feels preachy. it’s just something they have to go through as queer women in the world. when nomoto’s mom is pestering her about how she needs to get a boyfriend and belittling her relationship with kasuga (even before she falls in love, at a point when it was a platonic relationship!) it isn’t a massive thing, it’s just a shitty thing that makes her feel bad until she can start dinner with kasuga. when men flirt with them or just generally make shitty misogynistic comments it’s treated with gravity but it never overwhelms the story

and it manages to avoid making it depressing! there are a few especially serious chapters but they have content warnings before them and it always ends with them eating a meal together and feeling better. when nomoto realizes she’s a lesbian she has a fever dream that mixes together all the casual homophobia she experienced, but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel

it acknowledges the complexity of identities (nomoto isn’t sure if she’s asexual or not, and one of her close friends is openly asexual, which is really nice to see when asexual people are very underrepresented in art) and kasuga is definitely not neurotypical and is definitely overweight without the manga making a big deal of it while acknowledging the difficulties this can cause. this isn’t limited to the manga itself, as the mangaka uses the volume extras to support the campaign for marriage equality in japan. her twitter is very good as well, where she mostly talks about trans rights and marriage equality and retweets things about the genocide in gaza (and has a trans flag on her display name!)

i don’t mean to make it sound like the politics/representation is the only thing there, though it is there and it’s very well handled. they have a very good relationship, and it’s a very well done romance about adults with jobs and responsibilities that i would absolutely recommend to anyone. the way they talk about cooking and eating is imo very good as well, with a focus on what’s good for each individual person. kasuga isn’t judged for eating so much, nomoto’s friend yako isn’t judged for being a bad cook, the pair’s other neighbor isn’t judged for their eating disorder. it’s a little bit of a feeder thing but not enough to be offputting to anyone who isn’t absurdly sensitive. it’s ongoing, with 3 volumes translated into english currently, and volume 3 was easily the best. i’m very excited to continue reading it! i’m also planning on checking out the live action drama that’s currently airing, but the manga will forever be #1

tl;dr it’s very good and you should read it. also just read josei. that’s where all the good stuff really is

spoilering some bits i really liked both for mild spoiler reasons and for space reasons

• the way their complex relationships with their parents play out
• yako and nomoto watching movies about lesbians together and sobbing. they’re just like me fr
• kasuga understanding exactly what nagumo means when the topic of abusive parents come up, and nomoto doing her best to be supportive while still returning the favor
• in general kasuga’s reaction to every time she sees or deals with some casual shittyness is really good, it feels very true to life when she ends up seeing a conservative politician talking about “traditional families” on tv
• i love them both but kasuga’s speech to her dad in volume 3 cemented her place as my favorite. “but if i were to move back… i couldn’t be me anymore.” she’s my hero