I was born in Victorian Britain and have a very mirthful air about me.

So one day I was going about my merry business, being my jovial self.

When I’m walked a creature that saw what I was about, smoked at me and said ‘well aren’t you the gayest person I’ve met all day’.

I’m not sure how to feel tbh

Wearing an earring in your right ear, but it’s ok to wear it in the left… Or the other way around. I could never remember which.

It’s a tie between licking ice cream and saying something is adorable.

• Wear orange or pink.
• Eat quiche
• Like poetry
• Hang out with girls at recess
• Wear an earring
• Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs

Sucking dick.

Cry.

According to my dad, considering something as ‘lovely’. Even if it’s the exhaust note of a motorcycle.

eat a chicken sandwich. Apparently straight men have to eat burgers.

Use a bidet

It’s funny to me all the times that I’ve been considered not manly enough, whether it’s wearing my hot pink vans or a pink shirt or tie, allowing my gf or now my daughters to paint my nails, and tons of other examples I’ve been called gay for too. It made me think, what really makes a man. And going by their own definition, isn’t it one sign of a man to not be swayed by the opinion of someone who seeks only to denigrate? So why would I care about their opinion?

I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.

I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.

These are all example from decades ago growing up in the 90’s.

I was called gay for not liking soccer, like it’s gay to not watch men chase a ball in shorts.

I was called gay for wearing UGG boots as a dude. Like if we even want to accept gay as an insult, I would argue the person bothered by such things as what shoes one is wearing is more fitting of an insult.

Fun fact. When I had a house mate who was gay, it was very difficult not to use gay as a word for something that wasn’t fun. Like this show is gay. He didn’t mind, but still wanted to stop.

Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.