come chat, vent about crackers, or share something positive! No crackers allowed!!

  • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    25·
    10 months ago

    white (passing) liberals who think euphemistic racism isn’t racism are fucking exhausting. we were driving my wife’s friend home and were talking about a neighborhood in my city and how rents were going up. so I said, well, yeah, it’s gentrifying. her friend started saying not really and my wife agreed, saying something about “urban youth” - apparently she meant the perceptions of bougie white people and was using the phrase tongue in cheek but it didn’t land that way to me and her friend took it as an invitation to increase the level of racism. after a bit, I pretended to have spaced out for a bit and asked them to clarify who they were talking about - you know, inviting them to drop the euphemisms and walk it back a bit - but her friend just immediately jumped in with “problem people” so I just checked out for the rest of the drive, until I could properly chide my wife for the racist bullshit.

    when I did, she gave the above clarification but dove straight into the lib racism of paternalistic stereotypes (it’s not their fault, they’re just traumatized so they do drugs and abuse their kids - bitch, all parents abuse their kids! you’re trans, you know that!) so I called her out about that too. told her to eat the racist brainworms.

    anyway, that’s it. just venting. she wants me to be friends with her friend but I just don’t think we’re going to connect - I’m going to start a fight over bullshit like this sooner rather than later. I can’t keep my mouth shut unless I’m already exhausted.

      • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        21·
        10 months ago

        Well, because I don’t feel much attachment to my nation of origin, the Philippines, with its culture, and language,

        I guess that’s in part due to the fact I was raised as a child of some skilled expats who worked in Dubai, in a more or less globalized environment…

        • GreenWater [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          11·
          10 months ago

          I have never heard of an apple before. Is this an American nickname? I do sometimes feel myself growing distant from Taiwan as I continue to live in Latin America and integrate more to the culture. There are times when I find myself thinking in Spanish before Chinese and it is a little concerning sometimes.

          Are you American? Or do you still live in Dubai? I have heard America can be hard for people from other cultures because you are forced to assimilate.

          • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
            11·
            10 months ago

            First of all, I’m not American… second, I don’t live in Dubai anymore (I stayed there until I was 14 years old) , just around North America…

            Third, I’ve been mostly living in an international setting, so I don’t live near, or interact much with white people, let alone Gulf Arabs in UAE…

            Fourth, what is an Apple?..

            I use the term banana and coconut, to refer to East-Asians (Eg. Chinese) and South-Asians (Eg. Indians), whose main commonality is that they’ve internalized heavily a bit of western-thinking, if not culture…

            • GreenWater [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
              10·
              10 months ago

              My mistake. I assumed you were American because I have heard similar things from Asians who immigrated there.

              I misread and thought you said apple. Maybe I am more tired than I think. These names are unfamiliar to me but I guess I feel like a banana sometimes. I am fortunate that there is a Chinese population everywhere but it is not quite the same with most I meet coming from Hong Kong or Shanghai.

    • Othello [comrade/them, love/loves]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
      17·
      10 months ago

      i was raised in the suburbs for half my childhood (my parents… its a whole thing, they were scammers) so now i have a perfectly neutraul white sounding accent. i can and do code switch but its hard when im feeling burnout.

    • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      9·
      10 months ago

      I feel that way whenever I’m with people of my ethnicity but instantly feel the opposite whenever I spend too much time around white people. tbh I really only feel at home around leftists but even then their culinary choices are… concerning… who the fuck eats unspiced boiled peas with literally nothing else in the bowl??

    • sooper_dooper_roofer [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
      9·
      10 months ago

      the cancellation is implicit. Much like “Jumbo shrimp” or “American freedom”

      also (unrelated) every POC should learn about the different provinces of China and India. And African countries too if you don’t know anything about those (but I assume some people know at least a little since they’re official countries, which puts them on people’s radar)

  • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    19·
    10 months ago

    I’ve had this interesting journey of going through visible changes that changed people’s perception of my ethnicity, and it’s happened more than once. I wonder if anyone else had had something similar.

    I’m of mixed Asian and African ancestry, and up until I was 5 years old or so, I looked distinctively Asian. People would call me a Chinese kid. As I got older my facial features changed, and my skin color became darker. I then became known as the local black kid among a sea of cracker. When I transitioned in my 20s and went on estrogen there were major visual changes again. My skin color also became lighter due to the skin thinning on estrogen. This made me visibly go from looking like a black dude to a Latina woman. Nowadays I often get people asking me if I’m from Brazil or Argentina or something.

  • joaomarrom [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    16·
    10 months ago

    I don’t know if I should post in this thread, because I’m not sure if I’m a POC. In Brazil, I’m white (says so on my ID card), but I’m right in the middle of the us-foreign-policy chart. When I was in New Zealand, lots of people thought I was Mexican (presumably because I had a goatee at the time, lol). Lots of “white” Brazilians who think of themselves as white are surprised when they’re suddenly Latino/a when abroad.

    I always find it funny that whiteness is such a fucking made up concept.

    • Tachanka [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      10 months ago

      My maternal grandfather was black/indigenous but I pass as white so I usually just kind of lurk in discussions like these so I don’t drown out other voices. I’ll never think of myself as white but it’s obvious why people see me as white.

    • Lemmygradwontallowme [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      3·
      10 months ago

      In Brazil, I’m white (says so on my ID card),

      What, did they declare you 50% or more European, and thus white

      Or is your European ancestry is just the most dominant DNA, but it doesn’t surpass 50%…

      Either way, you can consider yourself mestizo or something…

      • joaomarrom [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
        4·
        10 months ago

        Most of my ancestry on my father’s side is anti-italian-action, but on my mother’s side it’s all northeastern, and one very sus native Brazilian woman + Portuguese man couple in the 1800s, which carries quite a few nasty implications. If you used “50% or more European” as a criterion for whiteness in Brazil, I’m sure only about 1-2% of the population would be white, lol

        Essentially, the “race” part of our IDs is just a good ol’ brown paper bag test.

      • xj9 [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        3·
        10 months ago

        i got an old bike that i’m gonna try to fix up. like, i’m pretty lucky that there’s a salvi restaurant and a bunch of taco stands around, but sometimes you just want a home cooked meal traditional style. i found ducal beans at a market down the street, so that’s a win for sure. i can get regular platanos at the market too, but i had majoncho at my mom’s a couple of weeks back and i can’t stop thinking about it.

          • xj9 [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
            2·
            10 months ago

            its a long story, but that’s just how i talk. i have cultural influences from el salvador, texas/mexico, brasil/uruguay, and mar de plata just because of how i grew up. i have a tendency to speak spanglish and portunhol. last place i lived, folks would get super pissed when i would do that lol.