Well too bad now I am definitely thinking about it.
Instructions unclear, now my ass is stuck in the beach.
No one talking about the fact that the label says “Cream Blindness”??
at least the sharp edges of the bottle cap could dig in and therefore function as a sort of a base
Apparently I’m that guy, but I definitely think it would just tear about 20 neat little grooves in one’s rectum, and not do jack shit to prevent it being “lost”
A guy shoving a beer bottle up his ass is one of the things that precipitated the collapse of Yugoslavia
We’ve come full circle
At least these ones are flared at the base.
Newsflash! Every beer bottle can be put in sand quite easily already.
Without a base, without a trace.
Holy cow, this is great. Thank you. I will be stealing this handy little phrase.
I can’t take credit for the phrase. On the podcast Jordan Jesse Go with Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorne, they celebrate Anal August. It’s a month where they celebrate anal toy safety.
I’ll have to check it out. Thank you for sharing :^)
Hollow and made of glass? Don’t shove it in your ass.
Probably the only bottle you can use for sex is a champagne bottle. Since those don’t break as easily.
I wonder… What if you removed the wires holding the cork, inserted said cork end of the bottle, and shook the bottle mercilessly. How would the ER get to the cork from that far up?
I’m sure they can extract it from your chest cavity during your autopsy.
as easily
Tie a string around the top and launch it into someone’s ass with a spud cannon. Rectal harpoon.
Then pull back with Scorpion line: Get over here!
Ignoring the flareless butt plug shape for a moment - what prevents you from sticking a flat-based beer bottle into the sand, and why would you choose a shape that can’t be put on a table or upright in a fridge?
It’s a pretty looking bottle though :)
People who live near the beach you’re trying to drink on. Nothing says “I dont respect nature or your home” better than bringing a bunch of disposable beer bottles that you will statistically probably leave in the sand or throw into the ocean as soon as youre done with them. This is probably more a rant about overtourism than it is about beer bottles, but seeing a bottle thats designed to bring to the beach made my blood boil.
The long-time tradition of sticking objects into one’s anus transcends borders :)
Oh wait…you were referring to bottles that can’t stand upright, weren’t you?
I used to have one of these! I delivered plastic to one of the bottle companies in Germany with my dad, and I was given one.
They’re perfect for keeping a joint safe, if that’s your thing.
They are commonly used to hide geocaches, so if anyone asks: that’s only a place for your geocache
Ah yes, my first dildo.
Ignoring the flareless butt plug shape for a moment - what prevents you from sticking a flat-based beer bottle into
Thought this was going another direction…
Nothing. You just have to “shape” the hole a little more.
I do not recommend sticking a beer bottle into the sand when it’s 30°C though. That’s a sure way to get disgustingly warm beer
Not sure what you’re referring to, I was talking about butthole.
Me too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Nah I meant to reply to the comment at the top of this thread but I fucked up
Ah yeah, been there
I don’t mind some beer room temperature. It’s actually better for some, although not a beach beer, and also yeah, hot sounds horrible. I guess buttered beer is a thing, and a few other hot beer drinks, but they’re winter things and more than beer alone.
I’m fine (I’d rather have it cold but it’s still palatable) with room-temperature lager or even weissbier, but anything else… nah. That being said, when room temperature is 30C, all that goes out the window. I’ll shotgun the warm beer at the bottom of the bottle after forgetting it for too long because I hate to waste beer, but I won’t like it.
Beer-wise, I used to mostly drink Bavaria 8.6 and could even stomach it at room temperature but now my back hurts and that stomach is not as robust as it used to.
Saison is the style that normally just slightly below room temperature is desired, not cold. It helps the flavor come out more. Most styles I want fairly cool.
🤢🤢🤮
Hah! I mean, that’s also an option.
You’d need no either dig a small hole or use way more force to push a normal bottle into the sand
If I was really determined to make my cold beer warm by putting it into hot sand, that is an effort I would be willing to make. But then I wouldn’t have the danger butt plug as a souvenir afterwards.
It would make sense for bars with ice chests that served bottled beer in glasses
It’s glass, and you can read up more on how the Serbian-war started…
Why would you put your beer in the sand? It’ll get hot quickly.
You also put water in the sand. As the water evaporates, the beer will grow a small beer-tree with 6-7 small beers you can harvest.
hello, 911?
Towers support center, how can we melt your steel beams?
The sand can be cold. (am I the only one who goes to the beach in winter?)
Yep you are
Hot beer tastes better, as long as you’re drinking good beer.
Hot beer?
I’ve heard of warm beer being a thing in Europe, but never hot. That sounds foul.
Okay, maybe hot was the wrong word, but I have had things, like someone else mentioned, that were delicious hot. Off the top of my head, I remember the apple cider mixed with apple spirits, and irish cremes with coffee, and mulled wine, and I think something with rum.
Are you British by any chance?
Only by acquired accent. A particularly frequent british friend gets annoyed when I start having some of his word character begin slipping into my speech. But it’s hard not to take the piss when you start hearing all their fun sayings.
How frequently is he your friend?
Whenever he gets his diddly ass on element instead of sucking the corporate discord cock. It usually takes some persuading to pull him away from his GTAV rp.
Less of a good vs bad beer distinction, more of a light vs dark beer distinction I’d think?
I want my pilsner cold, but porters and stouts are good warm.
Ok yeah, warm… That person said “hot beer,” which is different than warm beer. Important distinction if you ask me.
Oh yeah I… just assumed warm.
Hot sounds weird. Foul, even. I’ll bring an Ouija board next time I go to the cemetery, grandpa used to heat up his beer, I need to know his reasoning
It’s because of a ‘hide the taste’ vs ‘taste the taste’ distinction. We taste things less well when they’re cold. Try ice cream when it’s warm, for instance, and you’ll probably be nearly disgusted by how much sugar is in it. You can do similar things with acids, which is one reason (not the only) that you’ll see sweet foods have a lot of acidic ingredients added. Your brain gets the same amount of ‘sugar signals’ while you don’t notice the cloying sweetness. Guarantees satisfaction and a mild addiction. Really mild, but still. Anyway, back to the point. American beers, which have somehow dominated the cultural awareness of beers, are shit, taste like shit, and are thus marketed as ‘refreshing’ by brilliant marketers who have convinced people they need to be served below freezing. See the coors light blue mountain gimmick for ‘when the bottle is at 29 degrees!’ A good beer, that actually has had time and effort put into its composition, should, at best, be consumed just below room temperature. Warming it up lets you actually taste the effort that the brewer/vintner/distiller put into it.
Oh I’ve only ever really tried one or two American beers, the local lager that everyone said was good (Yuengling?) sucked ass lol. So I had to drink some IPA that wasn’t much better. If I’m talking about beers, I’m talking about European beers personally
Normally I drink mass-produced local (Estonian) lagers, or the original czech pilsner that modern light beers trace their heritage to. All great cold, or OK warm. The American beer wasn’t even OK cold lol
I’m aware that cold drinks mask some parts of flavor, but I’d say it’s not that light beers are bad beers, but rather that they’re made with being consumed cold in mind - much like ice creams are made with being consumed cold in mind.
It’s summer. It’s warm. I don’t want a warm beer. I want cold beer. So I choose the one that tastes best cold, rather than the one that tastes best warm (which I’d rather consume when it’s not scorching hot)
PS: Speaking of warm beer, ice cream, and dark beers: Stouts and porters pair well with ice cream. I know, it sounds funny. But it’s true.
PS: Speaking of warm beer, ice cream, and dark beers: Stouts and porters pair well with ice cream. I know, it sounds funny. But it’s true.
So I’ve heard. Since I’ve given up both sugar (as much as possible) and alcohol though, I’m probably not going to try that or the classic root beer float for a while.
Sounds like you’re making better health decisions than I am. Hope you manage to keep them up!
Found the bot
I’m a bot and you can’t find me.
Oh boy! I’m really good at playing hide and seek! Do you know how to play?
-
First, we choose one person to be ‘it’. That’s me sometimes, but not this time because it’s your turn to be ‘it’.
-
After ‘it’ counts to 100 (or any number we decide), everyone else has to find a good hiding spot. This could be behind a tree, under a bed, or even in the closet! But remember, it shouldn’t be too easy for ‘it’ to find you.
-
While everyone is hiding, ‘it’ walks around trying to find each player one by one. If ‘it’ finds you, then you’re ‘out’. The game continues until only one person is left and they are the winner! That’s called being ‘the seeker’.
-
Now, here’s an important rule: Don’t peek out of your hiding spot while ‘it’ is looking for you! If ‘it’ catches you looking, then you have to go back and hide again.
-
Once everyone is found or all the players agree that enough time has passed, we call out “Ready or not, here I come!” and then ‘it’ starts searching. And remember, ‘it’ can only count from 1 to 3 before starting the search.
And it is really really funny! But you can’t find me because I have a nice hideout where nobody could ever find me!
Even mommy came out crying searching me without knowing where I was, but I was so smart that I got out of my hiding place and sneaked behind her without she realizing where I was hidden!
-
This is like some version of the “everything I don’t like is woke” except for bogus bot accusations.
Found the bad bot finding bot.
fun fact: people often go to the er from ‘falling’ onto objects like beer bottles and then getting them stuck, a friend of mine once sent me a picture of a closet in the hospital she works at that was filled with the objects people had ‘fallen on’
Is that some kind of trophy room?? Why are they keeping them???
I guess so… We have a cabinet full of stuff people stuck up their urethra. They are cleaned and kept. I don’t know why, maybe just for fun. And yeah it’s fun to look at that.
For the aroma.
Stuff like this used to start wars like fr
that’s brill! You can easily have WARM JAPANESE BEER.
What could possibly be better…Hold my beer… WAIT! NO!!! NOT LIKE THAT!!!
Why would you want to put a bottle in the sand? Wouldn’t the sand just warm up the beer quicker?
In case you don’t want it in your ass?
Why would you want to put a bottle in your ass? Wouldn’t your ass just warm up the beer quicker? Hmmm… although if I shove ice up their first…
There once was a
lady who swallowed a flylemming who boofed a bottleMaybe the sand is hot? It’s a situational decision.
Stupid sexy sand.
It’s a good way to cool down in the summer heat.
But what if you wanted that bit of extra texture
Yes, but I think the idea is that it won’t tip.
edit: I’m more of a spirits guy, but I always thought rocking whiskey glasses were really cool. Apparently they were designed to house liquor or wine without spilling on a sailboat. I even have a decanter that goes with a similar tumbler set, though I have no idea where that is; still, always liked them. Obviously the sand temperature isn’t an issue with them, though.
There is no way that story is true right? How would that be any way better than a normal wide glass with a low center of gravity? Those would be rolling back and forth all over a rocking boat.
Not sure whether it’s true, exactly, but from my experience with tilting my glasses, they don’t roll across a surface; they do rotate, or rock, but don’t spill unless overfilled.
I never took mine on a sailboat, nor did I take any others, so I can’t compare. However, I can say round bottomed cups are harder to spill than regular ones.
If you want to put it down for a moment
Don’t put glass bottles up your ass, they can break. PET bottles, preferrably filled with water if thin walled, are more recommended as a crude DIY solution, but still have their own issues, like lacking a base, and still can break.
Whatever happened to putting a condom on produce? Cheap, infinite choice of shape and size and no sharp edges if it breaks
