Jesus: is crucified
Catholics: “Look at how good this Friday is”
Getting brutally tortured and crucified sounds like a pretty terrible Friday to me. An actual Good Friday would be like, Jesus getting high with his buddies and playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 on the PS1 while eating pizza.
Can someone please explain this.
EDIT: How about “Good Friday” but it’s Jesus getting high with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker.
They believe Jesus was a sacrifice that freed us all from the Original Sin and opened the Kingdom of Heaven to everyone.
It’s deranged. God could have just snapped his fingers and said “okay y’all are saved now” but instead he had to torture his own son to death for no reason. I guess it’s to be expected, God also created evil because he wanted to know his children really love him. Manipulative freak.
but instead he had to torture his own son to death for no reason.
his own son who is also himself, if you’re not one of the factions who think the trinity are separate entities. The whole thing is a mess.
I had a metaphysics seminar in grad school with a girl who was working on the mereology (part/whole relationship) metaphysics of the trinity. It was just pure Scholastic bullshit–literal “angels on the head of a pin” nonsense–even in the context of a class that wasn’t exactly grounded in practical concerns.
I like the interpretation that Jesus sacrificed himself to free humanity from the existence of God but in classic fashion humanity interpreted it in the opposite, status quo wins again.
gnostic gang
There’s another theory that it was part of Jesus as the ‘Jewish Messiah as foretold’ but also the new ‘Messiah of all mankind’ that Jesus’ death symbolized God creating an aspect of itself to die in a blood sacrifice to himself as a way for God to synthesize the entire thing and do away with original sin, the blood sacrifice, the exclusivity of the Covenant with Abraham and the “mistake” of burdening his beloved creation - which was in his image - with original sin. It was God’s way of saying “I’m sorry, bro” to all mankind by living as a human and dying by human hands.
Or that’s something I dreamed up when I started smoking weed while casting off the last of a pretty devout but liberation theology kind of Catholicism. But I swear that’s a thing I’ve read elsewhere. But it could be weed thoughts. It could be where the whole “Jesus is wholly God as God wholly God, different but the same” etc from the trinity in Catholic school of thought from uhhh Council of Nicea days I believe. It’s been a while since I plumbed these depths.
What movie is this
What were all the previously-dead doing up until then, waiting in purgatory for Jesus to hurry up and be born & die already?
Catholic doctrine says that in the day between his death and resurrection he went to hell and saved all the souls that didn’t have a chance to listen to the Gospel.
It’s fucked that they were in hell in the first place, but what can you do
Well that’s how the system works, bud. Wait until you hear what God did to anyone who wasn’t on Noah’s ark…
Yeah .
Another thing: isn’t a second in hell supposed to feel like an eternity? So even if you died 5 minutes before Jesus did, it felt like forever while he came down to pull you out of there. Double fucked
I mean, regardless, won’t ppl like yk, kinda phase out in hell… I mean, there’s a point in which that torture and torment just kinda bores you in your mind, and just acts simultaneously as a secondary torture and peace…
Either way, I guess for them, those decades where nothing happens turned into weeks where decades happen…
Note: Idk about you, but I thought the non-Christian dead would be stuck in purgatory or at least in limbo, which isn’t really hell but rather a special administrative area of hell…
Edit: oh wait nvm, Jesus picked them up on his long weekend vacation to hell.
“It is precisely these holy souls, who awaited their Savior in Abraham’s bosom, whom Christ the Lord delivered when he descended into hell.”
They’re still in “purgatory”. Though it’s actually just straight up hell.From catholic.com:
By his death and Resurrection, Jesus opened heaven (CCC 1026). Prior to that time all who died went to “hell”; however, the just went to a place in hell referred to as “the Bosom of Abraham,” where they would be comforted. The parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31) seems to indicate that there were two parts of hell. Both Lazarus and the rich man died and went to hell, but Lazarus was comforted in the bosom of Abraham while the rich man was in a place of torment. A great chasm separated the two parts.
I think they literally don’t have any chance of going to heaven. Just because they were born too early and their great*100 grandparents ate an apple.the rich man was in a place of torment
:sicko-yes:
It’s deranged. God could have just snapped his fingers and said “okay y’all are saved now”
Ok, then how would they appreciate their salvation more now, without giving them a hard-hitting message, sweaty!
God also created evil because he wanted to know his children really love him. Manipulative freak.
Seriously, though, saying this is the equivalent of saying “Trotsky invented racism to stop all political debate”. This is just pure bad-faith slander on your part. Is this what the deranged evangelicals think of, as ‘atheist’ beliefs?
I don’t think I’ve seen God intentionally create evil DIRECTLY in the Biblia…
I don’t think I’ve seen God intentionally create evil DIRECTLY in the Biblia…
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah 45:7&version=KJV note that’s not me picking KJV, they default to it.
and there’s ordering the genocide of the amalakites, instructions for how to scam your slaves into not being a temporary deal, the child sacrifice “test”… textual crimes of god in the “good book” would take several hours to go over if you want all of them.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah 45:7&version=KJV note that’s not me picking KJV, they default to it.
and there’s ordering the genocide of the amalakites, instructions for how to scam your slaves into not being a temporary deal, the child sacrifice “test”… textual crimes of god in the “good book” would take several hours to go over if you want all of them.
Ok, on second thoughts… I’d change my mind on that…
He’s the demiurge, the creator of everything.
So! Who created the Serpent?
Humans are special because we’re the only creations with free will.
So why does the Serpent tempt humanity?
It’s all a fucking test for humans to see how much we love God.
omnipotence and omnipresence preclude the existence of free will. Either god knows everything that will happen, in which case every choice a human ever makes including ones which condemn them to hell are all part of something god set in motion and is ultimately responsible for, OR god is not actually all knowing and able to foresee that
I don’t care what weaselly arguments christians have invented against this in the last 2000 years to “um akshually” me because as far as I am concern this is case fucking closed
Did he intend for that angel to fall from grace and turn evil?
That being said, I guess you can criticize him for his relative inaction when it comes to that negative side of his creation…
Angels don’t have free will! Only humans have that, that’s canonically what makes us so special.
That angel was created to fall from grace from the very start. Just God play-acting with His dolls.
Ok, now you’re bringing mudpies into the argument…
The consensus of scholars who focus on the study of free will in the ancient world is that the Bible does not explicitly address free will.[11][12][13]
The leading scholar on the subject of free will in antiquity, Michael Frede, observed that “freedom and free will cannot be found in either the Septuagint or the New Testament and must have come to the Christians mainly from Stoicism.”[14]
State me ** a bible verse where God mentions “free will” being only inherent within humanity** or I will think of it as pagan revisionism, like that people did with Christmas and Easter…
Let alone the prove that Free will is canon within the bible…
Huh. Totally thought it was canonical. My bad!
Though, uh, “free will is apocryphal” doesn’t really contradict my point? If there isn’t free will in angels or humanity then it’s all just God playing with his dolls.
Well, as I should say, it’s up in the air… free will, in this case, could just not necessarily be exclusive to humanity…
idk how anybody could defend the christian god, he literally goes into a bet with satan just to fuck up a dude’s life to prove that he actually loves him, and wow, god wins, so that man’s life is restored right? sure, but not all his fucking kids or his wife, they’re just fuckin’ dead, for a bet
he literally sent a bear to maul a bunch of kids for making fun of a bald man
It’s good because the whole sacrifice thing is a sacrifice in the old school sense - Jesus is sacrificing himself (somehow) so everyone’s naughty deeds are forgiven and they all go to heaven. So it’s good for humanity. Kind of a bigger scope thing.
Jesus’s crucifixion makes more sense in Orthodoxy because Jesus had to die so he can go to Hell and beat the shit out of Satan while freeing people in Hell. It kinda reminds me of the plot of Doom 1 where Doomguy died in the first episode and wound up in Hell where he can fuck up more demons.
Damn, that sounds metal as hell, when are we getting the megawad?
Huge fan of the harrowing of hell and related ideas.
Jesus is sacrificing himself (somehow) so everyone’s naughty deeds are forgiven and they all go to heaven
Ah, my favorite contradiction within christianity, which broadly lead to the great schism, the arguments around Consubstantiation. It’s fun to think of the different points of view regarding the exact nature and amount of Divinity vs Mortality in Jesus and understand how important it is to the religion as a whole.
It just sounds like people arguing about homestuck, to me. Like it’s occasionally interesting to look at but then I remember how silly it all is, just loops and loops of people arguing about their head cannon for their blorbo, and I quickly remember why I generally stopped being interested in it.
Consubstantiation
Such silly words by a bunch of nerds lmao
If you don’t sin, Jesus died for nothing.
Akshually (no shit he said this it’s in writing) according to St. Augustine sin is stored in the balls and comes pre-installed. No wonder on whether an embryo made with zero sperm would still have original sin.
That’d be kindof a funny fuck you Christian Fascists. Write a story where some kind is born in a state of grace and totally chill bc they’re a clone or something. Wouldn’t work, though, Christian Fascists think St. Augustine is a city in Florida.
So what you’re saying is every time someone pounds off they’re removing sin from their body.
Check’s out. I’ll call the Pope and let him know.
actual answer from a 5 second wikipedia search: it comes from an older sense of the word “good” which means “holy”
alternate take: everyone likes killing jesus
That’s not even the absurd part in my opinion. The dates for Easter and Jesus’ death changes every year. It makes zero sense. Christmas is on the 25th of each year which makes sense because it’s consider his birth day - and yes I know the story whatever. People still consider it his birthday, and as such, it must be the same day every year - but for some reason we celebrate his death and resurrection on completely different dates each year.
The historical explanation is because of competing holidays around the same time, but socially it makes no sense because this is not how annual occasions work. Imagine if “July 4th” was celebrated on “the second Thursday of every July” and it could be the 2nd, the 3rd, the 8th, etc.
It’s all co-opting of existing pagan holidays so people can keep their parties around the winter solstice and spring equinox. “Yeah, you can keep your party, just say it’s for our god now” works pretty well as a conversion tool.
It’s just tied to the traditional Jewish holiday of Passover which is based on the Lunar Calendar. It ain’t that deep.
Jesus had Passover, kinda a really important part of the Bible actually, so it’s really weird that Christians don’t.
Old Covenant, New Covenant.
Easter was invented by the Council of Nicaea in AD 325
There were a few hundred years there where Christians probably did celebrate Passover.
Paul had Passover!
It’s weird.
Religions change and build on prior traditions, yet somehow that fact takes people by surprise every time it seems.
It’s hard when your religion is the Truth and the Word, because then people think that means it can’t just change. God does not play dice etc
it is funny that both reddit atheists and religious conservatives have the same view on religion.
You are asking Christianity (or ANY religion) to make sense? The whole point of religious absurdity is to test faith and destroy critical thinking.
It is because Passover is part of the story of the Crucifixion, and Passover is tied to the Lunar calendar. I am not religious, but even I understand that fact. It is really fucking silly to complain about religion destroying critical thinking as you confidently miss a very well established fact.
Just because a fairy tale is set to a different calendar it doesn’t make the fairy tale a fact as anyone who actually understands critical thinking would realize. The absurdity is believing in anything about the zombie jebus story, which was basically stolen from much earlier stories that are equally devoid of facts or rationality.
Ummm… Le sky daddy much? ☝️🤓
the truth typically has logical consistency in the mundane casual sense and relgions claim to be true so, yeah people expect it and then double down in the worst ways or leave when they don’t find it.
if i remember my catechism correctly, it’s good because the brutal torture and crucifixion is what provides the redemption of everyone’s sins forever
dangit, a minute late to two other answers. shouldn’t have spent so long editing.
dangit, a minute late to two other answers. shouldn’t have spent so long editing.
story of my life
I’ve never been crucified. Maybe its good
Isn’t Good Friday supposed to be the “the son of God is dead and man has killed him” solemn day and Easter is the “nah, but he’s back now and says it’s all good because his sacrifice was made to save our souls” party day?
That’s what I remember from being raised devout catholic and living most of my life in a majority catholic country.
Growing up in America, Christianity is just the MCU version of whatever they got going on in Europe lol.
Christianity in the US is a guy on TV wearing a Rolex telling you that Pokemon are demons who are possessing your kids.
Unfortunately evangelicals, exported from America are rising everywhere
yes, people are just seeing a holdover of the older sense of “good” as in holy and acting weird about it instead of looking it up.
Christianity is a death cult.
there would probably be some kind of timing and logic if HOLY MOTHER CHURCH wasn’t basically an ad-hoc variety show, hot-glued together to overwrite pagan holidays–spring being a big deal, because it’s time to sow seeds, the grass is growing for animals chomp on, and life is BACK baby–while simultaneously diffusing the revolutionary fervor of this wack cult coming out of judea that was popular with the destitute and edgy rich people into something the roman imperial machine (DVDES ROCK SPQR) can accept and use to subjugate/enslave.
once you accept that the big christian holidays are an improvisational sketch to appropriate the instinctive enthusiasm and desire to mark the passage of seasons, [the sun, the moon, and the stars] but keep the focus on the clown show instead of what’s behind the curtain, it’s easy to understand why it’s slapdash and withers under scrutiny.
yeah yeah, jesus was cool. that’s why they lit his ass up… and now they want to be the ones to tell the story? sorry, we can all read now. the only redemption going on is the sun returning (#NorthernHemisphereGang) with its long days and giving us another year of food, textiles, and building materials. everything else being celebrated is grabass.
EDIT: How about “Good Friday” but it’s Jesus getting high with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker.
I’m not sure who’s who, or why the AI decided to put Hatsune Miku in there, but I’m sure it tried its best.
its mistranslation of good fry day, the day when its finally good to
Something something Nietzsche something something the inversion of values
you eat fish. that’s pretty good.
Wait til you hear about lent, palm Sunday and ash Wednesday
Idk what good Friday even is, I thought he got crucified on Thursday because Jesus came back 3 days after dying (on Sunday).
Maybe I have a body-building-forum-member understanding of days of the week, but:
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coming back a day later on sunday would be crucified Saturday,
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coming back 2 days later would be crucified Friday
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coming back 3 days later (the canon) would be Thursday
body-building-forum-member understanding of days of the week
So the specific phrasing is “on the third day,” not “three days later.” Easter is the third day of him being dead/buried, (part of) Friday + Saturday + (part of) Sunday.
It’s just a case of old terminology sounding weird to modern ears.
Besides, I think days in Jewish tradition end at sundown (I know this from having Jewish coworkers, for whom Shabbat started at sundown on Friday), and Jesus was supposed to die on Friday afternoon.
That still makes Friday the first day, Saturday the second, and Sunday the third. It checks out.
Maybe, but even that would depend on when the tomb was opened or whatever, which I can’t remember offhand
Late at night on Saturday or Sunday morning (around midnight roughly)
So yeah, two sundowns have passed making it simultaneously “two days later” and “on the third day”
It’s just a conflict between modern and archaic terminology
It’s a fencepost problem, “days later” counts the fences, “on the nth day” counts the posts.
Neat, a new word!
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