Half-Life 3 announced. America collapses before its released in 2031
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Irish reunification
Don’t forget the Bell Riots
For everyone scratching their heads…
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Irish_Unification_of_2024
year of the linux desktop
It already is in my heart.
there will be more communists this year
A new world order awaits
Now is the time of monsters.
Biden and Trump die on the podium, most likely at the same time
X re-renamed to Twitter
Hillary loses to Trump’s vice president pick
turtles are declared an antisemitic dogwhistle
botched coup attempts
Russia makes small, but noticeable gains against Ukraine by the end of the year.
Sanctions are declared, backfire
German government fails and they have to do early elections, CDU gets into power, SPD becomes their junior partner, afd uses their 20 something percent to get through shitty laws whenever the SPD won’t vote for them
von der Leyen decrees shoot on sight on EU borders, critics will say it doesn’t go far enough
An additional pandemic
More Gazan children are murdered, somebody (most likely Fetterman) explains why that’s a good thing and extremely humanitarian
Vaush explodes and takes out Haz somehow
German government fails and they have to do early elections, CDU gets into power, SPD becomes their junior partner, afd uses their 20 something percent to get through shitty laws whenever the SPD won’t vote for them
The FDP’s vote on the traffic light coalition actually ended with a narrow majority against dissolving the government, so it seems it will not collapse yet. The rest seems about right, except for the assumption the SPD won’t vote for the worst laws “with stomach pains” (as is often mocked).
imagined being named after the most annoying part of transit. I guess spd will be like democrats (TINA for voters)
also don’t underestimate their cravenness, they might still collapse in summer once Merz farts in Scholz’ general direction and fdp chuddies lose it
A republican candidate for the house or state senate in one of the Dakotas will literally kill their opponent with a gun during a debate and get elected.
A truck full of uranium waste will disappear. The story will be covered by all news agencies for exactly one week and then never be mentioned again. In 2025, a dirty bomb will be set off by “Hamas” in a major population center.
An article will come out revealing that Biden’s aides have secretly been testing his food because they’re afraid of Kamala Harris poisoning him. This will not affect Kamala’s approval rating in either direction.
Someone will be murdered by a white women for picking up litter in a Walmart parking lot because her wine friends told her that it was a secret way for pedophile crime rings to pass messages to eachother.
In that same town there will be a single article written about an underage prostitution ring being run by a bunch of retired state troopers for superbowl games. No one will read it.
There will be a massive civil war on twitter over whether or not black people need to “take a break so that we can focus on antisemitism right now.”
Someone will leave cum on Rand Paul’s desk in the senate.
get this poster a lathe!
better lathe than never
Somehow Desantis becomes president because the world hates me.
U.K bans all pronouns, accidentally makes entire country legally non-binary.
Hillary Clinton tells centrist republicans to Nintendo Switch 2 voting blue
Another ship gets stuck in a canal
Crash Bandicoot movie voiced by Chris Pratt
It’s going to be the hottest one in recorded history
Until 2025
And 2026? Have I got a bad bet for ya
The Biden cat is removed from the WH for attacking people.
There will be pictures of Trump’s penis.
Biden falls and is actually hurt.
Zelensky is replaced.
Trump narrowly loses the general election, promises to run again.
Trump’s penis gets leaked, conservative men spend hours making memes out of it convincing themselves their effort were to own the libs
Someone leaks Hunter’s penis pictures in retaliation
hunter’s dick pics have been leaked since like 2019 lol mtg even showed some on the floor of congress (albeit censored)
Somehow I completely missed this
2024 fanfiction:
1 Trump goes to jail
2)Trump wins because he is in jail, and then pardons himself and everyone from jan 6
2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history, but still lose handily (oof). Media never mentions it anyway.
3)Biden dies of natural causes shortly before Election Day. Media pretends it is a great tragedy, but literally nobody cares. He still loses to Trump in jail.
3a) Kamala is literally a deer in a headlights, immediately defers to Antony Blinken and John Bolton for advice. Decides to bomb a random country.
4)Trump dies of natural causes within weeks of Biden dying, VP-elect Tom Cotton calls for bombing of Iran, China, and alliance with Russia. Moscow refuses.
5)Democrats suffer biggest defeat in a generation, but media and politicians refuse to admit it has to do with Palestine. Ignore issue and claim it had to do with border/taxes/left overreach/poor campaigning/debates. Media/pundits decides people wanted to bomb Iran and Biden was too soft.
6)Ansarallah movement sinks US warship
7)Liberals start putting yellow ribbons on their cars and calling for national unification in support of the US soldiers against Yemen, even if they don’t like Trump (or his VP Cotton)
8)Israel invades Lebanon, immediately bombs every hospital.
9)Liberals support move to “eliminate Hezbollah and bring democracy to Lebanon”
10 Leaked sex tape of Milei with the 6th generation clone of his dog that talks to him. Media is impressed by the level of romance and passion.2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history
Eugene V. Debs got 6,0% for the Socialist Party of America in 1912 - The media would highly likely definitely mention it, and the anticommunist propaganda would be a sight to behold.
2a) PSL candidates win more votes than any communist or socialist has ever won in US history
This doesn’t require 6% of the vote. 5% is probably enough to satisfy the prediction due to population increases.
5% is a huge amount of votes.
Nader’s 2000 campaign got 2,8% of the vote, and he was a nationally known and popular radlib at the time for his consumer rights advocacy - 5% is an amount of votes European leftist parties struggle to get for the last 20 years, not to mention communist ones.
Of course, it would be a huge achievement to get that many votes (and probably impossible without party structures in every major county at the least), but matching the 0,24% total for far-left parties from 1976 is a more realistic expectation.
That’s the most unattractive framing I’ve ever seen. Framing it that way is more likely to push people away than to get them doing it, even comrades.
Five percent.
I mean if you want to get excited over electoralism, go ahead - I’m in a dead end demsoc party and if you expect huge gains and communism in 5 years because you’re Harry DuBois and you’re gonna fix the malaise of the left, you’re just gonna get yourself burnt out.
It’s not a matter of expecting it comrade. It’s a matter of pursuing it. You’re far more likely to make a goal of 0.25% (or more) by shooting for 5% than you are by shooting for 0.25%. You try selling that shit to someone, they’ll laugh at you.
The target must be attractive if you’re going to draw anyone in that isn’t already a marxist leninist, and PSL’s name and modernised style is uniquely suited to casting a wider net than most ML parties are capable of.
Trumps dies at the debate stage
Biden dies at his funeral
Double K.O.!
Hunter wins!
Well see a coup or attempted coup in a EU member state.
Some German politician thats anti-us gets merced.
The newly created American army bases in Denmark lead to assassination(s) of one or more “left” organizers in Denmark. Also just regular army base bullshit.
A new disease starts spreading among cattle. The farmers resist all attempts at regulation, China is blamed.
I lose weight, but because of something bad happening.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed.
Lynetteholmen leads to drastic dieoff of the recently introduced cod-population in the Baltic.
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Merger between steam and some other platform.
We’ll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed
There’s an upcomming British show that’s supposedly bought controversial art and will have the audience decide if it should be burned.
The Milei regime starts murdering protestors.
A western ship is damaged by Ansarallah
At least one high-profile assassination is attempted by Trump supporters.
Supporters of the losing side of the American election refuses to recognise the result.
The winner of the 2024 US presidential election dies before being able to take office.
At least one more member of Lars Løkke Rasmussen’s astroturfed centrist party is forced to resign due to doing something weird, pathetic and/or off-putting.
Lars Løkke Rasmussen himself will be caught red-habded in another corruption scandal, but will not be forced to resign.
The new Danish king, being absolutely dogshit at public speaking, will stumble over his own words and say something incredibly stupid.
At least one coup attempt in Ukraine.
Three or more new sanctions packages against Russia.
Lars Løkke makes me hate the Danish population. “Ej who cares that he embezzled funds? They’re all corrupt liars anyway”.
- THEN DONT FUCKING VOTE FOR THE CORRUPT LIARS.
- LARS LØKKE IS LITERALLY CALLED THE “QUOTA KING” FOR HIS CORRUPTION, its at a wildly different level than the rest of the ghouls assembled in the government. he has countless blatant proven scandals. Even if you say that they all do it, he does it at such a higher frequency and amount that it cannot be hidden
But he’s “the most skillful political craftsman” because he manages to bounce back every time his incompetency and corruption is exposed. And you want to vote for people who argoing to be good at doing the job, right?
HES NOT SKILLFUL THE MEDIA IS JUST SHIT AHHHHHHH
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Hoping this one comes true. RRR was tight
We’ll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
I hadn’t considered this but honestly seems somewhat likely depending on how things pan out.
This is too real. Get off the Lathe right now.
Russia and Ukraine begin negotiations.
Leaked sex tape of Biden and Trump together.
China begins reunification process with Taiwan.
Another European country elects a fascist.
I begin process of getting a gf
Argentinians start to realize shit’s fucked
I begin process of getting a gf
Hell Yeah brother, good luck
Israeli false flag against a US warship.
Turkey finally makes a move, butries the hatchet with Syria in solidarity with Palestine, exits NATO in plan to unite the Arab world and recreate the Ottoman Empire to contain Israel.
Sanctions of choice will drive costs up double digits.
Economic conditions continue to get drastically worse as technical hyperinflation hits western countries, but the leaders keep insisting everything is fine
Citi bank major scandal.
Eurovision interrupted by pro Palestinian activists - repeatedly.
begins banning opposition parties.
breaks on live tv in a way that is unsalvageable. Assange is a free man.In tradition with the ongoing collapse of the UK, Richi Sunak gets booted.
Someone turn the most probably ones into a bingo board.
Good idea:
“once in a lifetime climate event” is the free space, so it should be in the middle
edit: I missed fascist president somehow, my bad
For the “trans internet personality gets blockbuster role” prediction, who we thinking? Abigail Thorne?
Thorne’s most likely as she’s an actor. Natalie Wynn is more palatable to Hollywood but doesn’t have experience. Abigail is also set to be in some star wars show but that doesn’t count because it’s not a movie.
Just for fun, I’m gonna go for the long shot and say Mia Moore’s movie is gonna be an unexpected breakout hit and it’ll be her.
Hell, Thorne’s in that movie too so it could even be a twofer
Garbage gets his username back and stops drinking
