You couldn’t make Citizen Kane because flashbacks and other innovative filming techniques are now the norm.
To that bottom comment in the picture. You’d be amazed at how incompetent the TSA and other security staff can be at most airports.
I don’t know if this is still accurate, but the TSA failed their surprise tests over 90% of the time.
They didn’t stop the shoe bomber or the underwear bomber either. There’s a term for what they are, “security theater”. They make it look like they’re doing something to protect you, when really all their doing is stealing whatever they can get away with stealing and fingering people’s buttholes as often as possible.
Collateral with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise because instead of hiring a taxi for the whole night it be easier to call a fresh Uber after each kill.
Arrival with Amy Adams because people would insist on using AI to translate the alien language.
Blow with Johnny Depp because of fentanyl ruining the ability to just snort a line of whatever whenever.
Really any movie that involves legacy telephones.
- Phone Booth: The whole movie
- Scream: “The call is coming from inside the house”
- The Matrix: “Pick up the phone!”
- Etc, etc.
You couldn’t make Toy Story today because NOBODY should be okay with how disturbing Sid’s face is.
On a side note, with all the remakes that are made nowadays, why has there not been a shot-for-shot remake of Toy Story using Pixar’s modern tech? Please, fix those terrifying lips. PLEASE
Scully and Mulder often had to clarify “they were in an area that did not get great cellphone coverage” thirty years ago, they were always getting separated in urban settings
Airplane!
Lots of reasons. Pick one.
You couldn’t make Soylent Green today because literally everybody already knows by now that it’s people
You couldn’t make 8 heads in a duffle bag today, because people would be like “what the fuck? This is just 8 heads in a duffle bag. Did I just pay to buy a decades old movie?”
You couldn’t make a sequel to The Matrix because it shouldn’t be made.
Any Will Smith movie.
You couldn’t make Taxi Driver today, because Travis would have already died by suicide in a school shooting before reaching adulthood and getting a job. Plus watching Travis’s nihilism growing not out narcissistic disgust with the seedy underbelly of New York, but out of love for the seedy underbelly of 4chan, wouldn’t really have the same kick to it.
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles these days. They’d take one look at the script and go
spoiler
“We can’t make this, this is Blazing Saddles, they made it 50 years ago. Do you want Mel Brooks to sue us?”
I thought they would go:
spoiler
Funny story Mel Brooks actually did an animated version of Blazing Saddles called The Legend of Hank to prove that he absolutely could make it today.
It’s basically the same concept but with samurai instead of cowboys.
“Ain’t no business like shogun business.”
Huh. TIL.
Though the actual argument for why you couldn’t make Blazing Saddles now is the the entire genre it’s lampooning is dead.
The humor is pretty much still fine and flies, other than Mel playing a Native American, but even that is still kinda-maybe-sorta-okayish-maybe? since Mel’s character isn’t the butt of the joke, but other than that brief scene I can’t recall anything that watching now makes me cringe.
I think the Mel Brooks scene is satirizing old Hollywood’s habit of casting whites in the roles of poc. Plus, I don’t see how a yiddish speaking native could be offensive to anybody.
3 weeks after release Israel starts setting up fences around a small bit of Arizona and calls it the very west bank.
Missed opportunity for wild west bank.
Oh, that is much better.
You might be right, and maybe the reference to old Hollywood was more subtle and went over my head.
I think it’s the fact that he speaks Yiddish in that scene rather than…well anything else. I can kind of read it as a comment on the tendency of the Western genre to cast white actors in deerskin clothing and feather headdresses instead of actual Native Americans…so I’m kind of willing to file it in the same folder as Robert Downey Jr. wearing blackface in tropic thunder. For that scene to be made today I’d want to see that point more clearly made, and I’d want real Native Americans involved in the production to be on board with it.
I think the big difference with Tropic Thunder is that the IDEA of black face is very explicitly the joke. Robert Downey Jr’s character and the idea of black face is what is being made fun of.
You might be right that it’s a commentary on Westerns, and it went over my head, and maybe because it was made when it was you didn’t have to be as explicit with the target of the joke it was just more subtle. The scene certainly doesn’t feel hateful, but it’s definitely odd to watch today. But given how explicitly the movie is making fun of racists and racism I’m certainly willing to give it some benefit of the doubt.
Yeah the blackface in Tropic Thunder is very much in the text of the film. I seem to remember it being a direct parody of a Vietnam War movie where a white actor unironically played a black man, but I may be Mandela Effected because I can’t find any references to this.
Mel Brooks playing an Indian Chief in a short scene in Blazing Saddles…doesn’t really have room for it to be in the text, but given the movie has an overall theme of racism in Westerns I think the subtext at least could be there. Especially since this movie leans on, breaks, then demolishes and spills out through the fourth wall, it has that same “we’re actors playing roles” mechanic that Tropic Thunder does. Slim Pickens even delivers the line “I’m working for Mel Brooks!”
Men in Tights, however…
What’s wrong with Men in Tights?
They roam around the forest looking for fights.
Every decent joke in the film was a repeat from a previous, better Mel Brooks film.
I watched it recently with my kids and it was a bit cringey, in that the humor seems to be targeted at teenage boys. Spaceballs was much better.
I feel that people who think Blazing Saddles is too risque to get made today are the butt of the jokes they thought were funny.
As a side note: I thought I liked Westerns because I loved Blazing Saddles. Then I watched a few Westerns during the pandemic and now I realize I just like Blazing Saddles. lol
Westerns can either be amazing or terrible.
Not much in between IMO.
Love watching this movie on network TV.
They leave in all the N-words and censor the farts.
well no one wants to hear such an abbhorant sound coming from their television now would they?
*Marge farts* “Well, that shut me up…”
I am looking forward to whatever he comes out with in Space Balls 2 though. That’s going to be fun. And Rick Moranis will be back!
I wanna see a modern Zombie movie with how people would actually react to news of a zombie outbreak given how people behaved during the pandemic
“No, I am not going with you to a concert in the park! There’s a zombie horde out there! We’ll get bitten!”
“Hey, even the WHO says it’s not an apocalypse anymore. The zombies are endemic now. You can’t live your life in fear.”
“Your mom was eaten by zombies literally last week.”
“Yeah but she had diabetes. There’s always gonna be people with preexisting conditions who are gonna be more vulnerable.”
“At least wear your denim jacket to make it harder for them to bite you!”
“There was a study in the Lancet that said heavy clothes don’t work.”
“You know full well that what they found was that requiring heavy clothes didn’t work because people just got bitten at the times when they weren’t wearing them.”
“The author himself said jackets don’t work.”
“He said that after he was bitten and just before demanding our brains!”
“Okay, sheeple. Oh, hey Mom. We’re just heading out to the concert.”
“Wait, your mom is here? I thought she was…”
“BRAAAAIINSSS…”
“You LET HER BACK IN after she died and came back as a zombie!?”
“Dude, she’s not infectious anymore. She caught it like four days ago.”
“That is NOT how this works! What… DON’T HUG HER!”
“Bye Mom, love you…ow!”
“She just bit you, didn’t she.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Let’s go to the concert.”
The movie follows a minimum wage delivery driver in his armored car plowing through hordes of zombies to deliver pizza to the safe houses where people are hiding out.
Edit: When he delivers the pizza, the survivors complain it is cold and don’t tip. He backs his truck through their security fence, letting the zombies in and drives off to the next delivery.
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Half the population claims it’s all a hoax and lets zombies bite them because anything else is a violation of their freedoms
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Large swaths of gun owners take to the streets, and half of them die quickly because they put more money into the number of guns they had or making them tacticool instead of putting rounds through them or sighting them in.
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It gets overly politicized.
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The literal collapse of civilization, yet some corners of the government and billionaires are still trying to milk out the last drop of money
The game series Dead Rising does the last bullet point with Zombrex, the 24 hour zombie prevention drug, which they need zombie outbreaks to make the drug so the pharmaceutical company starts causing them.
Don’t look up was basically this but a meteor instead of zombies. It was honestly kind of a depressing movie lol
What’s crazy is that they made the movie before the pandemic, but it was almost a parody of the trump administration and the response to covid.
Well, It also works as a nice allegory for climate catastrophe.
That’s what it was written as.
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